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Even if your insurance won't pay, that doesn't let you off the hook. Depending on where you live, she may have a year or more to sue you for the damages.
Generally, she doesn't have to give you three estimates. She can choose whoever she wants, have it fixed and hand you the bill. But of course, a court would not order you to pay for the cost of painting the entire car if it was not reasonably necessary to do that.
Ask her if she will have the car looked at by a second body shop before she makes a decision. But whatever she chooses, if you refuse to pay, you can expect to end up in court.
As for your insurance, if you haven't reported it yet, do it now anyway. You may be entitled to more protection than you think. Also, if you can truthfully tell the other party that you have asked your insurance company to handle it, she may be less likely to inflate her claim for damages.
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