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I doubt she wants a restraining order; more likely, she already has an attorney lined up and is trying to get information on your assets so they can be included in any settlement. In theory, in CA all property becomes common when people get married, unless you have a prenuptial which says otherwise. Ergo, if she files for divorce she would be able to find out everything you own so she can get half of it - or an equivalent value.
Generally, a SSN is not required to get a restraining order; but it might be needed if she wanted to freeze your accounts and keep you from taking any money out.
And yes, you need an attorney - NOW.
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