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This is a lose-lose situation. She's probably having a hard time with having another woman in her kids' lives, and she's going to pick at you no matter what you do. If you were more involved or friendly, she'd find fault with that.
The best thing to do is to ignore her issues and continue to do exactly what you're already doing. She'll have to come to terms with it eventually! In the meantime, don't let it be your problem.
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