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dear ashley, you may have a serious illness but you are still a normal young lady with all the needs and desires of a teenager , you are no pervert. this good friend of yours has known you for a long time, and is your good friend because you bring something to his life that he values, it is extremely unlikely that your good friend could ever see you as gross or diseased, he may fret about your illness and its affect on you, and that is your call to explain to him about your illness and all it entails to put his mind at rest and to help him understand what you are going through. maybe you could explain to him your yearning to experience a kiss, a loving embrace, to feel wanted as a woman, desired. as you are already good friends you will have a relaxed and enjoyable relationship to start with, which is a lot more than most people have when they start a relationship. try to enjoy the loving closeness that comes with close friendship . why dont you ask him out on a date,the cinema is a good place to start, nice and cosy, not to loud , a good place to need no excuse to get really close. go for it ashley, you sound like a sweet thoughtful young lady, i wish you well x
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