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Arlington Virginia has all of those qualities, with especially outstanding schools and access to Metro, plus a bit more of an urban atmosphere than areas further away from DC. The problem is what you consider reasonable cost of living. As was pointed out, housing is quite expensive, although with the current sag in the real estate market there are some (relative) bargains to be had.
To get less expensive housing, in general you have to move WAY out of town, with a resulting bad commute, or really bottom-scrape for lower-priced properties (there are some, but the houses will be quite small and probably in less than stellar condition).
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