anyone know service, book etc to help resolve childhood issues and build self esteem?

[cottontail]

i am in my third unhappy relationship. previous two were to agressive controlling men this one is not much better although more emotional cruelty.
i realise i need to change, i am really insecure, jealous when husband looks at other women etc and i dont want to feel like this anymore.
some women dont care i want to be like them. i feel i need to build my self esteem. i cant afford counselling and relate have a long waiting list. I had a difficult and at times traumatic childhood and i feel this may have contributed to how i am now.
I am looking for something that may help long term, i have tried some books but find they dont work long term. i know my marriage needs to change but feel i need to address my issues and get stronger first.
i have been reading about co dependency which sounds like me but how do you treat it?
any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks