I was confused. Was it Wilton, the high in fiber, whole wheat, and nutrionously delicious cracker, or Maxy, the Maxi Pad? One of these lost and frustratedd creatures broke into my refridgerator and so shamelessly beat Squishy, my hard boiled egg.
I was destined to solve the crime. I began my search during the lonely 11th hour, right before midnight struck, in the last few days of April. I generously devoted my late hours of the night to investigating. There was a stench in the air and I knew it was one of the up-to-no-good suspects committing their so strictly kept secret. I came to a conclusion, there was no turning back. Evil was in the midst, and I was bound to conquer!
Suddenly, I hear a shuffle of footsteps. It was dark, and I was struggling to see ahead. All I could do was follow the direction of the sound.
CRASH!
No, no. It can't be. Not in ... my own ... BATHROOM!
I was scared, extremely scared. I was frozen in my stance, nearly forgetting to breathe. My mind raced with a highly educated forshadowed hypothesis. I believe that Maxy is the murderer because Maxi Pads would most commonly reside in a hygenic facility, especially one which belongs to myself, a developing teenage woman!
Too difficult to see, I grabbed my camera and snapped as many pictures as I could. It seemed as if the light from the flash was overbearingly painful because the screams that I heard were sent chills up my spine. Something scraped past my ankles and I fell backwards on my bum, hard on the wood floor. Recollecting myself, I grabbed a flashlight for sight assistance and protection. I stumbled to my computer and uploaded my memory card.
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g107/Jescoolgrl/op.jpg
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g107/Jescoolgrl/odd.jpg
What? Could this be?
I was wrong. Wilton, the one I least expected of the two.
I was shaking. I stood up and dusted my skirt. There's only one place he could be now, and that is... with his army!
I pumped out some pushups and gnarled my gnarliest gnarl. I was ready.. to.. PULVERIZE!
No one, hurts my baby girl. Not my Squishy.
I ran to cupboards and pulled out bitesize crackers' headquarters.
Immediately they all silenced and glared up at me with their beady little eyes.
"Wilton! I know you're there!" I threatened.
I ran my hand through the pile of varmin, some crumbled beneath my finglettes.
"That's enough!" Wilton shouted, coming forth, "I will not have you terrorize my people!"
"You're under arrest bucko, I know you killed Squishy!" I said.
"Squishy deserved what she got! She stole the spotlight. Just because she is filled with protein and nutrients does not mean we are worth any less!"
"Aw, I expect you want me to feel sorry for you? In the slammer you belong for the rest of your puny little never-gonna-be-digested life!" I prosecuted, handcuffing the grain cluster.
It was time to apologize to this Maxy person. I've never met him before, but I heard about his type. Just goes to show judging by what you heard through the grapevine could decieve you of a fulfilling and genuine friendship.
I entered the little girls' room and searched for the box of Maxi Pads where which Maxy resides. There was no such place. I flipped that place upside down and inside out. Maxy was no where to be found. That's when I realized there was no such person. I forgot I don't use Maxi Pads or any pads for that matter.. tampons all the way!
Tap, tap.
There was a.. a tap.. on my shoulder. I turned around to see a tiny miniscule Q-Tip, no more than a few weeks old and wrapped in toilet paper, layed at my feet. There was note attached to it' forhead. It read:
TO BE CONTINUED.
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