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| in ur opinion, could I become an author? I'm starting to write a book. With more work obviously, do u think I'm off to a good start, and could I become an author at 15, what do u think?? She was a spiteful woman, a heartless, selfish woman that not even family members could understand. The viciousness in her pale face had lived there for so long; it eventually became part of her. The gleaming white in her dazzling eyes was brighter than the reflection of the moon and the very end of her nose, came to a point. Her hair was a midnight black, darker than the color of smoke and the ends seemed to curl right up to her ears. Her body was tall and slender and she moved so gracefully, her image seemed to appear not as a woman, but a beautiful swan. However, she could approach others with numerous behaviours. At times she could be lovely and charming, others she could be downright rotten. Her fingernails were neatly trimmed, covered with a sparkling rose that shone brightly against the pale skin. The dress she wore matched the color of her black hair perfectly and this gave the look of her skin an even stranger appearance. The material was made of gorgeous silk, with a row of black diamond’s that came to the bottom of the dress. Everything about her fit perfectly together like a puzzle, her noble appearance, her dreadful personality and her overall significance in life. The Ivory Witch was what they called her. She was unlike most women because instead of her skin being a soft, gentle coat as most women are born with, her body was covered with ivory. Rumours say she was always like that, but nobody knows for certain how she came into being that way. However, there was something they knew for certain that they never thought twice about. She was the Queen of Galarain, which was a great palace built at the top of the clouds beneath the darkness of the sky. The palace was a shadowy grey surrounded by hundreds of sky-scraping towers. Altogether, there must have been at least five hundred, but nobody knew for sure because it was nearly impossible to count. She wasn’t the only person in the enormous world. There were a group of beings who she called the Shadow People. As close as their relationship was with the Witch, even they hadn’t the slightest clue of how she was born of ivory and they were the only family she had. Yeah I got the plot all planned out. I just wanted to give a bit of background information, but the plot is already done. Thanks. |
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| You have an intriguing concept to your story, quite original, in my experience. If I were you, I would continue writing the story before asking for further critique. It is very difficult to judge your ability from such a short passage. Finish the story, and then proofread and edit it. You may need to alter the beginning somewhat to attract more interest. The secret to the first paragraph is to make it a "hook", to write it so interestingly that the reader is captivated and eager to read more. You might want to write such a paragraph before beginning to describe your witch so thoroughly; you should reveal personal information about her a bit at a time to keep the reader enthralled by the actual action of the story. I hope that I've been helpful to you. Please continue to write; I'll be waiting to read more! Good luck! |
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| Interesting idea and you have potential, but you need to throttle back on your narrative. Show, don't tell. If you are serious about writing, check out these books and they will save you YEARS of re-writes and rejection: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Second Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print by Rennie Browne and Dave King and The Elements of Style by William Strunk Good luck. |
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