i want to be an author, is this any good?

[Miki]

ok i just love writing, wanna be an author. be honest, is this any good? Chapter 1
It was the most extreme day in my life, and I blew it off as if it was nothing. Now that I’m older I realize the chain of ongoing mistakes I made. I also made hundreds of good decisions to make up for the bad times though, so give me some credit. Its all a part of life, as I found out, and a part of death too. Even so, life is still a twisted rollercoaster and we have to hang on tight.
It all started out as a regular day on the warm shores of Hawaii, my alarm clock went off at its regular time, 6:30, to be exact. I had my regular breakfast on my regular chair, and watched cartoons with my weird but regular brother. Today I was defiantly not interested in watching “Scooby Doo“, the waves were perfect for body surfing, and I was desperate to call Mia. I had to obey the laws of her household though. I smiled remembering the time I had called at five forty on Christmas to tell her I had gotten a puppy.
“don’t you have a clock at your house?” her mother had gobbled. “Mia is still asleep and wont be up for another thirty minutes or so, but don’t you ever call this early in the morning again, not even on Christmas, do you understand me young lady?”
I was choking back a laugh but managed to say in my thick honey sweet voice, “yes Mrs.Halloway, I understand, sorry.” once I hung up the receiver I laughed and mimicked the woman. I stopped and suddenly had sympathy for the poor lady, being a single mother and having to do all the work must be hard. After all, my parents had enough to do with us three. I pushed back the thought and went on with my cereal and cartoons.
At seven I got up and called Mia.
“Hello?” a voice bounced into my ear.
“Hi may I speak to Mia please?” I spoke into the phone.
“Hold on Alic, I’ll go find her, but she cant talk long, we are leaving soon.”
I clutched the phone in wonder as Mrs.Halloway went to fetch Mia.
“Hello?” said an unfamiliar voice.
“Hi, is this Mia?”
“yep, who’s this?” she sighed.
“Alic, what’s wrong? You don’t sound normal. Are you sick?” I asked in a worried voice.
“sorry, its just I was up all night packing and I didn’t get much sleep…” her voice ventured off as she spoke.
“Packing for what?” I asked, clutching my knees on the torn rocking chair.
“You haven’t heard?” she asked, perking up a bit.
“No just tell me what it is!” I was starting to get impatient. I didn’t understand all this talk a bout leaving. I stood up anxiously and followed the dirty flower rug around in circles.
“Fine don‘t be so snooty, there’s a huge hurricane coming straight to Hawaii. You didn’t know that?” she sounded stressed now. I had stopped listening at the terrifying word hurricane. My chest felt tight and I had that lump in my throat that comes before crying. Why hadn’t my parents told me? My mind raced and I began to feel woozy. Our little beach house couldn’t withstand the powerful force of a hurricane, especially sitting right next to the ocean. Surly my parents didn’t have enough money to move all of us five somewhere else. Suddenly I collapsed in a our old chair and it squeaked as I rocked. What were we going to do?
“Oh yeah, that, um, I knew that,” I lied. “where exactly are you going?”
“ To California. Where are you going?”
“I don’t know, somewhere. Hey listen, my mom’s calling, got to go do something I guess. Talk to ya later?” I felt bad about lying to my friend, but I had to.
“Ok, sure. Are you certin you’ll be fine?”
“Totally. See you later, Bye!”
“Bye.” her voice sounded sad, and I felt like an outlaw lying to my very first friend.
I hung up the phone and glared angrily at the waves out side our wooden beach house. It seemed like they betrayed me somehow, first they were my friends but now they were out to get me. I got up slowly, and walked into the scraggly kitchen, searching, then the two bedrooms, and finally the one bathroom. My parents were gone. I never saw them again.
keep in mind im 12.

[Serenity]

WOW-wee! good beginning (the beginning sentence has got to be eye catching, and you passed with flying colors! 8) i am also wanting to be a writer of fantasies. the title needs to be eye-catching, too. But why go to california? the monsoon is more likely than not to reach there, too, after hawaii. just saying 8). Add me to your contacts, and we can become friends, we have something in common 8) I'm 14

[CPawx]

Ummmmmm. Work on spelling, grammar, story line, punctuation, and don't forget to use capitals sometimes. Also make sure you're using correct words in correct places. Beware of run-on sentences. Good effort though.

[L S]

woaah, that sounds like a really good book!

[Mina]

wowser, good stuff

[LJ K]

This is a better premise than other stories I've read here.
I think you should keep working on it.

You might try leaving the parents alive so that your teen story doesn't end up like so many others, the ones that kill off the parents to 'free-up' the protagonist...
Just an idea.

I am also hoping you live or have lived in Hawaii, and know something about hurricanes.
It's often really true that you should write what know. (Plus some imagination)

If you're really twelve, you're not supposed to be on this site at all until you are thirteen. Better find another site.
Luck with your story.