Advice for cancer survivor not coping well with health problems?

[Eve]

14 years ago a few months after I had my first baby, I was diagnosed with advanced acute leukemia. One year survival rates were less than 5%. I had three years of high dose chemo, a relapse, an unsuccessful bone marrow transplant, and experimental treatment.

I thought I would either die or come back home and get well. Instead I am disabled, in and out of the hospital. l have lung damage, brain damage, have gained weight from medication given by different doctors, wake up in pain at night.

I have had nightmarish experiences from misdiagnosis.

I take care of my normal rebellious teen now. I gave up volunteer work because of the stress and now stay in the house, except to walk the dog. My husband is gone most of the time and is stressed out from work.

I have a few friends, go to cancer suport groups, therapy. I don't fit in.

If I had known what would happen, I wouldn't have fought so hard to survive. I look at my bald, scarred image in the mirror and think - who is that?

[janice]

First of all, I must congratulate you for all your courage these 14 years. You need lots of support and a good medical doctor. Check with your local Cancer Society and see if there is someone there who can get you some help. I don't know your age, but I feel safe in assuming, you are much too young to give up on some sort of quality life. Your husband is not around much and you are dealing with a 14 year old(who has watched his/her Mama go through all this ). Your child probably needs a counselor or support group of some type too. This is a family affair, you all need to heal. Get your family involved in your wellness program....Good Luck to you, you've come to far to give up.