How does 1 cope with a member of family having a cancer???

[finka007]

This is probably very painful for me to talk about it...
Last year my grandmother was diagnosed for lung cancer. We were all very scared (especially my mother), I prayed every night for my grandmother’s health. (She never smoked or wasn’t near by a second hand smoker).
The day of her big surgery (last year of January 2007), they removed her one lung (because the tumour was already as big as a grapefruit), we were very thankful that she was ok. The doctor gave us a hope that she would ok and that they removed everything what they could find inside her.
A year later (which is now) my grandmother has been coughing, losing weight, and she couldn’t swallow food at all. Swallowing food was a big problem for my grandmother...doctor explained to us it is because of radiation (her swallowing tube part had shrunken)...
Yesterday my grandmother had a biopsy done...doctor told my mom that the cancer had spread to her other lung :-( we are very devastated...my grandmother doesn’t know it yet...we don’t want to tell her (She’s a very vulnerable & overly emotional woman) we don’t to put her through more pain...
This is sooo scary for me...how does one cope with someone who is close to you...has a cancer? I can’t sleep & can’t stop thinking...I don’t know if I should scream, cry, yell, orrr...is just hard. I don’t know how to help my mom if I am having a hard time..any experience(s) on coping? I want to help myself & my family’s coping through this.
Thank you so much...