is lupus or diabetes more serious?

[platypuses rock]

my dad was diagnosed with diabetes last september and was really upset about it. diabetes runs in both sides of my family. everyone on my dad's side (except my aunt) that is around my dad's age or is older has diabetes. some ppl on my mom's side has diabetes.
now my mom, who is an RN, was diagnosed with lupus yesterday and is crying right now.
im really scared right now because both of my parents have some type of disease. i feel like ill lose them both. i don't want to ask my mom who is really educated about lupus bc i don't want to make her more upset, but does lupus affect life expectancy?

and i know that i may be diagnosed with diabetes when i get older since it is so common in my family. but is lupus a genetic disease too?

[Brn_Eye_Grl]

Unfortunately, yes, lupus is a genetic disease. It is a type of autoimmune disease. Keep in mind, if somehow you inherit an autoimmune disease, it may not be lupus - it just means you may inherit a type of autoimmune disease.

For example, a grandparent may have rheumatoid arthritis, their son may inherit the problem of an autoimmune disease but what they get (what it manifests itself as) is MS, and then they have a daughter, and that daughter gets lupus.

All are autoimmune diseases, but different ones.

Also, although it is genetic, it doesn't automatically mean you will get an autoimmune disease.

Both lupus and diabetes could possibly shorten your lifespan if not treated properly or if the disease for some reason really progresses. But honestly, most people with these diseases live to be elderly.

As long as a diabetic monitors their sugar regularly and eats properly, and gets regular checkups by their doc, they should be fine.

Same goes with a lupus patient. As long as they try to be healthy, keep in shape, keep up with necessary medications, and see their doc regularly, they should be fine.

Between the two, lupus is probably more serious, but they both potentially could be serious.

Don't be afraid. I normally don't let people know this on here, but you seem young, and given your circumstances, I want you to feel some comfort. I have lupus. Matter of fact, I have what is called MCTD (mixed connective tissue disease). Basically it is a cross between lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. I also have hypothyroidism and raynaud's syndrom (as a result of having autoimmune problems).

My father had rheumatoid arthritis. He died at 53 - BUT, it was because he had been a pack a day smoker since he was 11 and he developed emphysema, and he never went to the doctor about problems. So it was the smoking that led to his emphysema, which is what was his cause of death.

His father, my grandfather, had rheumatoid arthritis. He just died this past fall, at the age of 83. So he lived quite awhile obviously.

I have 2 sisters and neither of them have autoimmune problems. So I was the only one that it passed on to. As far as my dad, he had 2 brothers and a sister, and none of them got an autoimmune disease either.

So just because your mom has lupus, doesn't mean you will necessarily develop one.

I cried when I was diagnosed. That is actually what they diagnosed me as first - just lupus. But I was 26 when diagnosed. Hard to learn you have a chronic lifelong disease when you are that young.

It is hard to deal with. And your mom is going to go through a lot of emotions for probably several years, and really somewhat over her life. She'll be in denial about it, she'll be angry about it, she'll be sad, she'll get depressed. It's natural.

And I'll tell you now, as a person who has these problems. You want people around you to be aware that you have a condition in which you aren't ever fully healthy and can't operate at 100% anymore, but at the same time you don't want to be treated as a baby, fragile, or as an invalid.

Always be aware that your mom has this condition, and be willing to help her when she needs it, but don't treat her as if she's dying or as if she's broken.

You should read up on this as well as the diabetes to be able to help your parents and understand what they deal with.

Here's a site for autoimmune stuff:

http://www.aarda.org/patient_information.php

Your parents should be fine. They may have to modify their lifestyles, maybe not work as much or as hard, but they will be fine.

If you need someone to chat with about it, feel free to contact me.