Dining, Drinking and Fighting Etiquette in Ireland?

[BadJack]

Should one always drink first, eat next, then fight and vomit? Or is it ok to drink, then dance before eating and fighting, and finally throwing up while being dragged out the door by the bouncer or police officer? Another question, closely related to the first is: If I bring a date, will she be expected to drink and fight as well and will I be considered less than a gentleman if I allow her to drink and fight with other guys? Will she be deemed less of a lady if she fights with men other than her husband? Lastly, my wife and I were born and raised in Los Angeles, California and we do not speak any foreign languages. Will the Irish understand us if we speak English in their restaurants? Will we be welcomed in the drinking and fighting of the evening and perhaps more importantly, will we be expected to do those satanic Riverdances where one is required to keep the arms pinned closely to the body as if being tied to a stake (before burning I expect)?