wedding etiquette question?

[erin]

it's 2008 & in this day, brides are pretty much not limited to anything when it comes to having things any way they want it. tradition doesnt play too much of a role anymore. give me your honest opinion about what u think abt this scenario: inviting only immediate family, extremely close friends and their families, some ext family that you see often and the 2 families of ur personal assistants to your wedding. inviting everyone else 2 the reception. the reception has served food, cake, mints, a dj and ur planning on some fun games to keep the crowd entertained. there would also be prizes for winning games. the reason you would not be inviting everyone to the wedding is becuz the 2 of you are EXTREMELY shy and are even feeling weird abt having 30 ppl @ the ceremony. my fiance says that a lot of people go to the wedding and skip the reception. i understand this. but if you weren't even invited to the ceremony, wouldn't you want to be there for the reception?
great answers so far...

we feel like the reception isn't as intimate as the actual ceremony. it's not an excuse that we're both shy - - it's the straight up truth. i'm not even comfortable inviting these people to reception either. if i had it my way we wouldn't be doing any of this at all. we would just go to the court house and that would be it. i can handle being the center of attention at the reception where the focus isn't entirely on us. people will be conversing at tables, eating, drinking... people will be dancing. at the ceremony, it's ALL EYES ON US. i'm just not comfortable with the idea period.

[Marisol S]

I personally would be offended if I were not invited to the ceremony but to the reception. But, it's your wedding, you can do whatever it is that you want! You're the bride, don't let anyone else tell you what you CAN and CANNOT do.

[PugMom]

Unless it's a family member or close friend I typically skip the ceremony and just go to the reception. I think your fiance has it backwards, unless that's just the way things are done around here. Most people do not attend the ceremony and just go to the reception.

[melouofs]

I was at a wedding like that a few years ago. Nobody batted an eye at the arrangement. It's totally fine to have a small ceremony, then celebrate with everyone later.

[fizzy stuff]

If I was not good enough to be invited to the ceremony, I would not attend just the reception. Honestly.
The excuse that youre too shy doesnt hold up. Youre the centre of attention at the reception, too.
If youre too shy for a big to-do, then it should be a small reception with just the people who were invited to the ceremony.
Honestly I dont know anyone who would skip the ceremony. Its the Main Event! The whole reason for having the reception is to celebrate the ceremony.
Also, inviting just some extended family is tricky. I think its better to make clear divisions- if you invite one cousin, invite them all, otherwise you are bound to have a lot of relatives feeling as though you snubbed them.
Im not going to tell you "its your day do what you want". Your wedding day should be a celebration of you, yes, but it should also honor and respect your friends and family.

[jemmamomma]

You can do it anyway you want, and this doesn't sound weird at all. Let your fiance know that it's the other way around--more people skip the wedding and show up for the reception anyway.