bridal shower etiquette?

[vicki c]

my shower is this sunday!!
my bridesmaids are hosting it... with some input and $ from the 2 mothers (mine and his). i put together little baskets of stuff for my girls as a thank you.. should i give the mothers something too? what about the 2 flower girls? also when do i present these baskets to them? in front of everyone? or afterwards? also do i need to make a speach? i know my MOH plans on giving one.. do i also besides thanking everyone for coming? should i introduce my girls or have my MOH introduce them? please help! i want answers based on proper etiquette, or tradition, not "its your shower you do as much or as little a you want"... what are rules of thumb.. what do the etiquette books say?
and any other tips??
thank you all so much...

[iloveweddings]

Hi Vicki and congratulations!

Lots of questions.....

(1) If you want to give the two mothers a gift....you could, but it's not mandatory.
(2) No, I would not give the 2 flower girls anything. You will present them with gifts at the rehearsal. The gifts you are giving now are in appreciation for the work the bridesmaids are doing for your shower.
(3) I would give them the baskets AFTER the other guests have left.
(4) No, you do not need to make a speech. And your MOH doesn't need to either, unless she really wants to. I have never been at a shower where someone gave a speech. However...
(5) Yes, it would be nice if she thanked everyone for coming and you could also....after all of the gift have been opened.
(6) I do think it would be nice if YOU introduced your MOH and the other bridesmaids.
(7) At all of the showers I have been to (unless everyone knows everyone....a small family shower), it would be nice for your MOH (after you have introduced her and the other bridesmaids) to ask everyone to say their name and how they know you OR the groom......."hi, my name is Diane, and I am the bride's cousin."

That's it! Have fun!

[Amanda]

To get the most accurate etiquette information, check out "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette" book. I do not personally own it, but it provides excellent information about proper etiquette for everything wedding related.

With regard to your shower. You are correct that a hostess gift is proper etiquette. Since your mothers are helping financially, it would be appropriate to thank them with a small gift. It does not have to be the same as the BMs' gifts, but a small gift is a proper gesture. Present the gifts to the ladies at the end of the shower. You and your hostesses will be the last to leave, as they will be cleaning up and you will be loading up your gifts into your car. Gather them together and thank them for all they did to make you feel so special, loved, and honored. Then hand them each their gift saying how you wanted to give them something to show your appreciation.

During the shower, it would be nice for you to say a little something. A simple thank you for coming and for celebrating with us, is all that is required. I would save this for after you've opened gifts or after your MOH gives her toast.

With regard to introductions, as people are arriving and mingling, you should make introductions as you are able (everyone will want to talk to you, so you may be involved when a friend arrives--trust that your hostess will do their jobs and will welcome the guest even if she is unknown to them). Check with your MOH, but the hostesses have likely already planned a way to introduce everyone, especially if you are including people from various aspects of your life in your shower.

If you are opening gifts at the shower, be sure to thank each gift giver by name right then and there. It is actually tiring to open gifts in front of so many, but do try hard to express your appreciation and to enjoy each gift. Also, be prompt in writing thank you notes after the shower. Emily Post says you have 1 week to get them out.

Good luck! I am certain that you will be as proper as possible-the shear fact that you are thinking about and concerned about such things speaks highly of your character and I am sure that you have good common sense that will direct you in the appropriate ways to behave.