I'm invited to the shower but not the wedding?

[brwneyes3465]

Nope. She is engaging in bad etiquette and it is tacky.

[hollybee]

That's very rude - the whole process. I wouldn't purchase a gift, or at least nothing extravagant...maybe a card or something small.

[Kit9981]

Keep in mind that it's not the bride planning this shower... it's the bridesmaid that is in the wrong, perhaps she doesn't know the rules. If you do decide to attend you could always purchase a book on bridal etiquette as your gift.

[Lori1930]

That is just bizarre - usually whoever is invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. It makes no sense.Normally what I would do is simply decline going to the shower and I wouldn't buy her a gift either. The problem, is that you work with her and have to see her every day. Maybe get her a small, modest gift but still decline going.

[ANonnyMouse]

It's an etiquette no-no.......and not unreasonable for you to decline...sounds like a blantant grab for as many gifts as possible......

[nejireta04]

You are right. An invite to shower=invite to wedding. Destination or not. I'm having a destination wedding and wouldn't dream of inviting someone to a shower or bachelorette and not the wedding. How embarrasing for you, and them! Is this a close friend/co-worker? If not, I would not go to the shower or buy a gift if I knew I wasn't going to be invited to the wedding. For me, the only exception would be if this person is a real good friend and I knew that they were having a small, family only wedding.