The proper etiquette for helping someone disabled?

[mandy]

could someone please tell me the proper etiquette for helping someone in say a wheel chair.. i was in a supper market one day shopping with my son, and beside us was a man in a wheel chair. He was reaching down to a lower shelf to grab a box of soft drink, he seemed to be struggeling, i wasn't sure what to do, so i waited for a moment, then i decided to offer my help. " i said can i help you", he didn't even really look at me he just said no with a strange look on his face and left immediatly as if i had said something wrong. was it wrong of me to offer help.. I felt bad when he left as if i did the wrong thing.

[Edith Anne]

You could have said "May I help you?" or "would you like a hand reaching that?" instead of stating that you can help him. Semantics yes, but one is asking if he needs help instead of assuming he needs or wants it.

The look could have him being upset or frustrated at himself for not being able to do a simple task. Perhaps he is new to a chair and he felt embarrased.

[DEBS A]

I dont think you did the wrong thing at all!!! - the main thing is to not just help without asking (discreetly) beforehand - I would like to add that it is so lovely to hear that some people still offer to help others in this time of rudeness /ignorance / impoliteness/ keep up the good work - It makes my day when someone holds a door or says good morning to me!!!
If EVERYONE did at least one good deed per day the world would be a much healthier/enjoyable place to be!!!

I personally make it a rule to ALWAYS "let out" the first waiting driver that I come across every day and to always look behind me when passing through doors in case i need to hold it

well done you xx

[atariblues]

I think it is okay to ask - as long as you would if the person was not disabled. I once had a coworker who was in a wheelchair get mad at me for always opening the door when she was around. I finally told her "look, i open the door for anyone im with, so knock it off." I really wanted to say she wanst THAT special, but that would have been rude

The point it its great to offer kindness and help. To much do we not offer in fear of the other persons feelings. Plus, it teaches our children kindess to EVERYONE.