Birthday meal - etiquette advice and other question?

[Mark W]

Hi - it's my 18th in a couple of weeks and me and a few friends are going to have a meal at a local restaurant to celebrate it. Tbh they were planning to go anyway, but invited me, at which point I said it was the day before my birthday. Since then it's turned into a birthday meal for me.

My best friend's girlfriend (who I hardly know really) texted me asking what I wanted her to get me for a present and stuff like that. I wasn't even expecting presents so I really don't know what to reply to her with. Can anyone help me with what to reply with?

The other thing is - I'm not too familar with all this so I apologise - if they're buying me presents, would I be expected to pay the bill for this meal? I really don't know the etiquette around this whole thing.

Any advice/ideas would be great, thanks.

[Katie G]

Tell them you really don't want gifts! And you're not expected to pay for their meals. It didn't start out as your birthday dinner, so it would be rude to expect gifts (i know you weren't, but if you tell her what you want, she'll feel obligated to buy).

[sprite]

I would text back: You guys really don't have to buy me anything, the meal is generous enough.

That should get the point across that they are paying for your meal and that presents are not required.

[darthbouncy]

Typically everyone is expected to pay for their own meals and contribute a bit to cover the guest of honor's meal... so just make sure you have enough money to cover your meal and you should be okay But...it doesn't hurt to ask...nothing is worse than people having different expectations.
As for gifts...say you weren't expecting anything, but if they insist they want to give you something, give them a couple charities you like that they can donate to...then it doesn't appear selfish and you'll all feel pretty good.

[dopegirl]

Yes, say you don't want any presents. All you want is their company for the evening to help celebrate. You are not expected to pay for anyone but yourself. Have a great birthday! XX