Wedding etiquette question?

[Merry1]

I attended a destination wedding at an all-inclusive resort. I paid my own airfare and hotel accommodations. The bride and groom decided to have the dinner reception at a restaurant on the resort and this meant that all of the guests were already covered and there were no charges.
Everything was included except wine.

The groom and bride only ordered one bottle for their end of the table. I thought it was VERy rude. I ended up ordering my own bottle and when dinner was over, the waiter chased me out the door with the tab. i told him to give it to the groom. I think it may have p*ssed off the groom and I was probably wrong but I was very disgusted at the lack of class shown by the bride and groom.

They left nothing in the rooms for the guests and i am so surprised at the lack of class. I had planned on writing a fat check and dont want to blow them off on a gift (even though id like to).

What should I send for a gift? How would you feel in this situation?
if they hadn't just ordered wine for themselves only...good grief!
I dont feel like Im being snooty. I paid my own way - a couple people here get what Im saying..other answers, maybe just a sign of the clueless times

[oldknowitall]

Nothing surprises me anymore. You live and learn, huh? You did not say whether these folks were good friends. If they are, bite the bullet and give them a gift they have registered for. If they are not friends, just acquaintances, then just skip the gift or make it quite modest. It sounds as if you just went for the free wine, however. Surely not!!

[BUFFCHICK25]

I agree you are being "snooty." At the same time, I think you shouldn't get them anything. You paid all that money to go to their wedding. Just tell them you are on a budget too.

[lunchbox]

It was equally rude to pin the wine bill on the groom. Apparently you do not have class either. Maybe this is all they could afford, which in my opinion is better than going into debt for a wedding. If you want to support the bride and groom, then get them a gift. People who can't afford nice weddings generally need gifts more than those who can.

So did you go for the open bar and food or because you wanted to support the couple?

[shawnee312000]

i would have pretended that i thought the groom was paying for the wine. Of course the couple did not realize they had a free wedding i was in the same situation. I wanted to give them a gas grill ($250.00) for their house in stead i got them towels ($30.00). My experience is they will not understand all they will think is you took a vacation and you would of spent that on your vacation. They just happen to get married on a place you would of liked to vacation. Meanwhile other brides and grooms spend thousands on a their wedding.

[jmclaughlin07]

i had a destination wedding and i let everyone know that if they came, i really couldn't pay for anything because we were on a tight budget. we did do the dinner but we didn't cover liquor either. you knew everything was included except wine so when you ordered wine, you should have expected to pay for it (granted it's not great the groom ordered one for their side but you should have taken notice). if you didn't want to, you should have drank something else. it's very nice you came and paid for yourself but i think you should understand a bit more that maybe they were on a budget!

there's no real great answer here. they were on a budget and couldn't afford it so you paid your own way. if you want to take it out by not giving them the gift you had intended, do that!

best wishes