I have a very, very unusual etiquette question if you wouldn't mind helping me out?

[BeenThereDone_It]

Simply put: I never know how, or when, to end a conversation

It doesn't matter if it is on the telephone or face to face.

It doesn't matter if it is with a good acquaintance or a new friend.

I just don't know when it is polite to call it a day and move on.

Take today for example: I met a new french tutor in a cafe and he spoke to me in French for an hour (that's what he is supposed to do) and then we got chatting and it was very enjoyable

I wasn't sure if I was keeping him behind or if he thought he was keeping me late so I just continued chatting and waited for visual clues.

Eventually he politely glanced at his watch and I had been casually putting on my glasses to give him a polite way out and that was that. No problem

But Americans are more brash and just walk off mid sentence.

Can you advise?

(I live in America and I am English)

[vannili]

I dated some English men when I was in HongKong,when the country is still under British.And I understand how you feel. Americans are not really that chatty, to end a conversation just say nice talking to you ,see you later,I enjoyed talking to you but I have to go, have a nice day. I hope this help.

[michael f]

I don't know about Americans being brash and walking off mid sentence, that's never happened to me and i've lived here all my life.
And why are you looking for que's? is it because you feel that you might be taking up someone elses time or because you want to leave?
if its because your worried about them, don't be.. they can make their own decisions.
IF you want out of a conversation just say, "hey, it's getting late, i've got some errands to run before dinner, let's get together soon and continue this chat" or something like that.
Another thing you can do is just pay attention to how other people end conversations, and go from there.
good luck.

[glitteratti465]

Oh God I have the same problem. I hate being in a cafe reading a book, and I have someone who won't leave me alone!

You just have to inser at the next pause: Nice talking to you and move on with some other action.

[james b]

I don't think its particularly rude to end a conversation at any time you please. All it takes is a noticeable pause or a slight changing of subject. In fact you could even lead into your closing statement. Such as changing the topic to discuss how "the subway is always so crowded these days" and then glancing at your watch and exclaiming "btw I have one to catch right now." I wouldn't think it rude.

I haven't really know people to just walk off in mid sentence. That's rude and sounds much more like ADD..lol. I

would say with a good friend: talk to them enough to work out a meeting when you can talk more. A casual acquaintance: just glance and say hi and then glance somewhere else like you have somewhere to be. But if you start to feel at loss for words or uncomfortable you've been communicating too long.

[Joeyboy]

I find it best to state beforehand how much time you have (if you can plan your schedule and you need to leave that meeting by a certain time). You can open the topic by saying, "Since I have to leave in half an hour, let's discuss the more important points first, then if we have time left over, let's go through some of the nitty-gritty details."

Looking at your watch might be considered rude by some, but it certainly gives a clue to your co-conversationalist that you might be in a hurry. The direct way sometimes works best, by saying "I have to leave in the next 10 minutes, I have another appointment to run off to." I think making it appear businesslike softens the blow, because then the reason is NOT a personal one, but because you have further business to attend to. I wouldn't find anything wrong if someone told me that.

What I would advise against is something like tapping or drumming your fingers on the table to signify "speed it up", or repeatedly looking away (like at your car or the road traffic), that might seem okay because it's non-verbal, but it's terribly rude; in fact, communication experts are unanimous in saying that more than HALF of what we communicate effectively is by non verbal cues.

That means, if you say it's alright to talk longer, but act like you'd rather be somewhere, then your jig is up, and you will be thought of as rude and dishonest.

Good luck!

[Old Scout]

Sure, just say, "well I must be off", (then summarize the gist of the conversation's main goals) then say, "chat later on, bye" and then hang up.
Do this when the conversation is getting stagnant. The other person is probably grateful that you want to hang up too. You can always tell when the conversation is getting stagnant, someone brings up the weather.
Good luck.