mother-daughter-father-sister etiquette?

[dre'sgirl]

My parents have a "rocky" marriage & my mother doesn't like to go to parties & big events. Everyone in the family pretty much knows these 2 facts.
My sister wanted to throw a surprise birthday party for my father's 60th birthday and just decided to do it without asking my mother (or his other children) how she felt. She just said "I want to throw a surprise party, do you want to pitch in?"

I and my mother are VERY OFFENDED, what do you all think.

[bainaashanti]

I think you need to get over it. This is something your sister wanted to do for her father and she has the right to do that if she wants to. She (very correctly) offered you all the opportunity to be involved or not and has not tried to force you to do anything. Decide if you want to do it or not and inform her accordingly, end of issue. to do otherwise shows that you WANT more family drama, because it would be you who was causing it at that point.

[Melissa]

Well, I think both people are wrong and right. First off, your sister probably felt that turning 60 is a big deal and it was important to her to have a party for her father. However, she should have talked to your family first and at least gave them the heads up before doing it. She merely asked if anybody wanted to pitch in, and not expected it of them, which I think was right.

On the other hand, I can understand how an event this big would make your mother and you somewhat upset since you didn't know about it and didn't get a chance to be invovled more. However, the world does not revolve around your mother. Though she may not like big parties, it doesn't mean she can't enjoy herself for 1 night for her husband. Even if their marriage is rocky, a party can still be fun. And it probably means a lot to him.

So what are you really upset about? After all, it's supposed to be a fun party! I'm positive your sister's intentions weren't to upset the family but rather to bring everyone together to celebrate a rather significant decade of your father's life.

[deborah m]

i think you have tmtoyh syndrome & don't know what else to do but badger & complain about others around you!!! Girl get a grip!!

[Nikki]

CRY ME A RIVER, BUILD URSELF A BRIDGE and GET OVER IT! So wat! It's just a party!!! Pitch in and have a great time!!!!!! Tell ur mother this 2!!!!!

[Tmarie99]

I think if she wants to give HER FATHER a party you can either help, or butt out. But you and your cranky, apparently too lazy to leave a bad relationship mother have no right or reason to be offended.
She did not say you had to help she said "I'm doing this".
Grow up. He's her father and she loves him.

It's not HER fault your parents are too stupid to leave a miserable marriage.

[Scouse]

Get over it chip in you will find you enjoy it in spite of yourself if you make an effort. it is a nice gesture

[Netspy]

Have u ever heard of d term "surprise party"??
its supposed to b surprise....duh
well dosent seem like ur dad shud have a problem...
besides ur mom shudnt have one too...its at home..
try keeping it all family ; )

[bubble]

I will be offended too, but just remember, it's once in a lifetime that your dad is having a 60th's birthday. If that's the kind of things that will make your dad feel special, just go with it without making a fuss about. I mean, it's only for one day, just suck it up, and make him happy.

[Jess]

Maybe she just took in initiative because she knew you wouldn't. Does your father like big parties? It is about him after all. I wouldn't sweat it if I were you. Help out and it can be a nice thing from all of you. Life is too short to be offended so easily.