| Are my family values different from others?
I post a couple of questions about my family overreacting over trivial things, and I was very surprised by the answers I got. My question was basically about how my dad is overcontrolling about his electronic toys. My brother and I are always worried about him coming home and realizing that something in the house is different. yeah, I guess if you believe in property rights we shouldn't be touching "his" stuff, but I thought karokees, my brother's computer, and the air conditioner were family electronics... I guess it could be that I worded my questions poorly and everyone thought I messed around with my dad's personal items, but even if they ARE his items, why can't he just trust me to know how to handle them? I'm freaking 19 years old and I can take care of myself (and install arch linux despite being a noob). Why does he still think that everything that goes wrong with the electronics must be MY fault? Besides, most of the electronics in the family are his so it would be as though I am a stranger living in his home if I can't do things with them without his permission. In any case, I was surprised that people just told me to get a job, buy my own things, stop touching my dad's things, and live on my own. Hey, I love my dad after all, and I just want to get along with him without all that annoying stuff. Is it not unreasonable to want to be able to move freely around the house of your own family?(And he's not the only one who overreacts. His wife overreacts too and they just piss each other off more so it's not completely his fault I guess.) Shouldn't people be telling me things that I can say to my dad or other ways of dealing with him instead of just telling me to stop touching his stuff or run away from the problem?
Besides, EVEN IF I am wrong to touch his things, can't he just talk to my brother and I reasonably instead of yelling at us? It's like those things are more precious to him than us sometimes even though I know he loves us a lot. (I guess I am still annoyed at those people who told me to "buy my own shit and stop touching his shit.")
most 19 year olds go to college and I am one of them so I can only get a part time job.... and yeah, I don't care if my dad uses my Ipod, computer, or anything else as long as he doesn't look at my personal files (like AIM logs for instance).
I wish I knew how to begin talking to my dad. It's hard to talk to him without getting pissed off or upset because he just lectures and does not listen. However, I guess I'll work on it.
|