how to help kids deal with family members amputation?

[Beckie P]

My sister in law had her leg amputated a couple weeks ago from a car accident. How do I help my kids (ages 12 and 8, who are very tender hearted and sensitive) to deal with this change. We are supposed to go help her when she gets home from the hospital. Their dad has not let them go to the hospital while she has been there because he was afraid it would be too hard on them and upsetting, and was afraid if they cried or something it would make her feel bad. I have tried to tell them what she has gone thru and they act like they can understand it but I know it will be a great shock to them to actually see her with no leg. Would it be better to talk to them more and wait to go see her, or just take them out there and talk to them as they are looking at it.