my whole family is always against me. my sister my dad and OH GOD especially my mom!?

[Confused]

i feel really angry and upset and my family and never want to talk to them. when im home my life is miserable. actually everything would be fine if my mom would just leave. idk what to do. i almost cut myself tonight i had the knife ready and everything. and i feel like killiong myself. what can i do? i dont want to see a counsler or anything because i dont like talking to people. how can i control my anger towards myself.
also my mom seems to always think i have an attitude and i dont notice if i do. and thats why mom is always mad and i im constantly angry with her.