why am i so anti-family?

[Kenni J]

I'm 16yrs. old and my whole life i've been knowing my father's side of the family.i exprienced alot of bad things with my family that now i dont even like to think or look at them.when i became a teenager i told myself i didnt need family and all i need was myself & friends.Now here is the problem my mother's side of the family is starting to get back in contact and i met my uncle, 2 aunts, and my 25yr.old cousin. They are really nice and loving and they say they love me but how could they when this is the first time they ever met me?!My cousin he is very big on doing "family things" and suspects me to keep in contact with my 14yr. old cousin. The whole time they came down to visit I kept getting speeches about how family is important and i thought it was just bull-shit.Now i'm finding myself wanting to call or email them. but something in my mind is telling me if i do that then i'll bother them but they did gave me they're number & email address. Why am i scared to do that thing?