Why can't we catch a break? It's tearing my family apart!?

[Me as I am]

when was 7, 6 years ago, we had to move from our home of Zimbabwe, near South Africa, for various reasons but maily because of the president and inflation- my parents thought we wouldn't have a decent future.

We moved here, to Engand, but since then things have been tough.

Over the past year, my Dad has worked for himself and run his own company. But now no-one uses his comany, and we are getting further and further into debt. I heard my parents say during an argument that we are 100k in debt now. Things have been really tough and we've had to scrimp and save a lot of the time.

Now my Dad has become really strange. He shouts at me, my sisters and brother (2 sisters 1 brother) and my Mum all the time. Today my sister asked if we could go to get a drink and my Dad said, in front of my Mum, that we can't because he'd spent all the money we had for the weekend on her Mother's Day presents. I know for a fact that this isn't true as I was there when he bought her her present.
This was so unecessary and really mean as it made my Mum really upset.

Also, he was going on and on about how our house is too big and we're so ungrateful about it and how we should sell it and buy a smaller one, and then he looked straight at my Mum and said "oh we can't can we as you said you'd leave me if we left the house!". This, my Mum explained later, was a remark on an argument a few months back in which my Mum had said I'm not leaving the house so you can but I won't come, like flippantly. Why did he have to bring this up?

Every time my Mum buys us new clothes, which is hardly ever, we hear them argue about it that night. Its so awful and we hate it.

Do you think they will split up? And what can I do to help with the money thing? It's so horrible to be around and I'm terrified they'll get a divorce.

Thankyou.
I have a computer, yes. It's a crappy old one that is 15 years old and first belonged to my grandparents but we had to take it off them so my dad could work from it smartarse.

[Annie K]

It sounds like your father is cracking under the pressure. It is very very hard for a parent to deal with losing a business, going into debt, and have a family to take care of. Unfortunately, this is something that he is going to have to work out for himself. As the children, there is not a whole lot you can do, and it will be a hard go of things for sure. But, it is important that you understand that your father is under a huge stress in this situation and he may be hard to live with until he figures out how to manage a living. Your mom should try to be a support to him, maybe work until he gets something else going. Just remember, my mom always told me that things never stay the same, they will change....so, as bad as things are right now, it won't last forever. Hang in there, sweetie.

[John S]

If you haven't told your Dad and Mum how you feel and that you are worried that they might split up over all this then I would suggest that you try. Sometimes parents get so trapped up in there worries and own feelings that they seem to forget that there children have them as well. Go on give it a go and get them both together in the same room when you tell them, you dont have anything to lose.

[jambsamm]

Does your mom work ?

Your dad is most likely feeling the pressure of being the only breadwinner, and may be lashing out because he is frustrated at the debt he owes.

Maybe they should go to a financial advisor to see how they can dig out of debt and a counseler to save their marriage.

Good luck, I hope things work out.

[cam]

Your dad is under huge pressure and maybe doesn't know what to do, so feels helpless. Let him know you all think he is doing the best he can. Depending on your brothers and sisters age, maybe you can suggest a family conference to see if you can work something out together.

Garcia_n, they would have a computer for the business - just like most small businesses, and just like many small businesses, it is the family computer as well - think before you write. He is not saying they are destitute, just in a lot of debt!

[garcia_nefi]

the ur dad is deeper than all of u know better start readin and learning as much as u can besides how the hell can u be that poor and be writing on a computer