How to forgive/deal with my ex who acts friendly yet I still feel very betrayed/hurt about what he did?

[CarleyC]

I am a Christian and I am trying to walk in love and be forgiving. I quote bible scriptures aloud on forgiveness and am trying to get beyond feelings of anger/resentment that I sometimes feel as a result of my ex me.We had been arguing a great deal and I know that relationship had little trust and probably wasn't healthy, but I was devastated when he decided to leave, and refused to even try counseling after 10 years together and a son together.After he left I discovered that he'd been sneaking around with a very young and beautiful coworker of his. And although he denied anything happenign between them he did admit to liking her and told me to "get over it and move on" with my life.Now when he comes around he acts friendly, tries to act like nothing happened, and tries to make small talk and be friends. I am hurt by what he did and while I know it doesn't matter anymore, as he says, how do I let this go and walk in love? I'm still hurting and he's very surfacey.

[Me3695]

how to deal with it? leave him alone. why are you putting yourself through something you know it's not right?my ex was the same way. you know what? i got tired of getting hurt. hopefully you'll get tired of it also.

[WilliamC6287]

Accept what has happened and understand that you are 43 millionth person this has happened too.

[beautifulmind4567]

You need to realize that you deserve better than anything he has to offer. Realize that his betrayal of trust was about his own insecurities as a man and had nothing to do with you or how you measure up. Since you have a son with him, it is important that you find your own self worth and respect in order to show your son that women deserved to be treated with respect and consideration.

[JohnS3518]

Forgive him to clear your conscience. Bury your feelings in the grave- forget about him, and move on. Release him to his demise. But you must stand up and forget he ever existed. Let him go.

[arewethereyet8399]

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to hang around him or be friendly or anything of the sort. It means you let go of all that hurt and realize that it was for the best.Sure you are hurt, but this will pass. You have a son together so it's not like you can put him all the way out of your life. But you don't have to act like nothing happened. Just do your business with him and go on with your life.

[macattakk2000]

hi, I am sorry for your heart ache and know something about this type of pain....first off you can forgive him completely, that doesnt mean to restore him..that means casting this care on Christ who said cast your cares on me...it hurts, you loved him and you have reason for anger, bitterness, resentment..you can think of them as a right...but they will just keep replaying the pain over and over ...if you forgive him as christ forgave you..he forgave us while we were sinners....If you draw close to Jesus your eyes will go off of this problem and the peace of God will surround you...it doesnt make the pain go away ..it is like you have a 100 pound pain in your heart surrounded by 1000 pound peace and joy...we reap and sow as a christian im sure you are familiar with this...reap seeds that you want to harvest later..the thought of him are going to bring a harvest of further resentment and pain...we are told not to lean on our own understanding and to trust in God, sometimes this is a hard thing to let go off...i hope this helps a bit ..im taking a few to pray for you know...God bless