My friend and ex-lover has helped me through many difficult decisions. I am just...

[radice]

...realizing that I feel unsure of myself after being with him. He is very opinionated and not respectful of me. I have let him have so much influence over my life and in retrospect see that some of the least healthy actions I have taken have been at his urging. I told him a week ago that I don't want to spend time with him anymore. What is wrong with me that I would allow someone to have so much sway in my life? I feel really stupid that I didn't see the negative effects that he was having on me for over four years. Has anyone had a similar situation?

[mistymane]

been there,
it is hard to see when we are very close in a relationship, that the other one is really hurting us.
when we step back, and get away from it, as I did last year, I saw the damages the relationship was causing me.
as you have now seen.
if you can, keep the friendship, but, if you can't, then it is time to get a move on, and find your happiness.