What compromise do I make?

[Nikki9055]

I moved out of state and got married.my husband has a son that also lives out of state.This summer my children will be away for the month of July.This is something that never happens since i moved two years agao.I love being with my kids There funny and cool,but i realize i never take time for myself.BEfore they used to be gone every other weekend with there dad, so for two years know i just get some holidays and one month in the summer.My husband son came for a week and really wants to stay for the summer.I have no problem with that at all but this was short notice and i made plans to travel all through out july kid free.I work night for 12 hours and he works days for up to 16 hours.no plans were made for a baby sitter or outings. No fun period.I would never be against him visiting his son and bonding.at the same time i really need this time to gather m yself from all the year long work i do raising a family and working.always at work i am.what compromise do i makeserious inquiries points to best answer

[SERENA9942]

Talk to your husband about it. let him know what you had planned. He might need to talk to his son to see if he could stay longer next time he comes out since it was short notice. If it's too hard for the kid to understand then you should take some time away from your husband and your stepson all by yourself so that you can wind down. Try not to be too selfish your husband will get turned off.

[Seana1122]

tell him because of the short notice and planes you have already made that aug. may be a better choice or when your kids come until he has to go back to school. plus that would work out better anyway for all the kids to spend time together.

[aloneathome]

Tell him you have already made planes and can't change them. You need time for your self. Don't feel bad about it.

[dizzkat3002]

Well, I would let my husband know he needs to talk to work about shortening his days while his son is visiting, you may need to cut short a bit of your plans for freedom and the son will need to only come for part of the summer. Can you take the first 2 weeks of July for your travel plans and then catch up with at home stuff during the last 2 weeks so the son can come then? He can have some alone time with his dad and then stay til school starts and be with your kids, too.

[adrikc]

you need to let your husband know how you fell...you sound like a great person..and you put it to us in a way that i can tell your caring and would love his son to be around..but you need time to your self..most people would think that is selfish but like you said this came up all of a sudden...maybe you husband can find something for his son to do like a day camp...you never stated how old he was...if he is old enough to stay home alone let him...a lot of the times kids like to stay at others homes because they need a break from there every day life...this is his break...dont feel like you have to be at his beck and call to entertain him....just tell your husband as you told us...if he can't see that you too need a vacation from life then something is wrong with him..dont be upset if you end up having to stay home...your husband must know how much you do and how you need a break but think he isn't getting one so why should you..you know...hope everything works out..

[Strandedgypsey]

Do you need the whole month of July to relax or can you compromise and send step son home 2 weeks before your children get back,so you can take a break for two weeks? I think that would be fair. That would be a long visit for the son and ample time for you to travel and be alone for 2 weeks kid free.

[Jess9740]

Why can't your husband take his holidays at the time that HIS son comes out to visit? His son is coming out to see him. He and his son could use the bonding time alone. Your husband has to take responsibility for his child instead of assuming that you would be there to do it for him. If he can't get that much time off of work, then perhaps you can consider taking a shorter vacation, but no matter what, if your husband is going to be working 16 hour days, how rational is it for him to have his son staying at your home, when there is no time to be spent with his son? Doesn't make sense. If your husband wants this bad enough, he will do whatever he has to, to make this happen.