ADHD parent-teacher survey found child has ADHD at school, but not at home. Is...

[Kestra SpiritNova]

...this true ADHD? The school teacher reported concern that my son has ADHD. So both the teacher and I completed a questionnaire on his behavior. The survey came back showing that he has ADHD at school, but it all came back as "average" for my questionnaire on his behavior at home, curiously...

I am going to a meeting on Monday, and the people at the school have told me that they've already decided to diagnose him with ADHD. They've assured me that children can have more difficulty at school than at home, and that the ADHD diagnosis will only help him, so I shouldn't fight the diagnosis...

Yet, when I read the criteria for ADHD, it says the symptoms must be present at school and home. Why would the school be OK with diagnosing him with ADHD, if he doesn't present ADHD symptoms at home?

I'm just trying to understand what is going on and how I should approach this next meeting. I don't think disagreeing would do any good, because they haven't listened to me so far. What is the best way to handle this?
The assessment was performed by the school psychologist. She said her decision was based on the surveys, teacher input about his classroom behavior (fidgeting), and her interview with him.

The changes they're proposing are chunking assignments, letting him sit in front of the classroom, giving him reminders to complete his work, etc. It's all small stuff that the student support team believe will help him in the classroom.

I asked the school staff if they get more money for diagnosing ADHD, and I was informed that 504 plans do not get them extra money, only IEPS do.

I took my son to a psychiatrist for an independent assessment last week but he said there was no formal assessment for ADHD and only went through the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria. He talked to us, and agreed that sometimes kids can show symptoms only in large-group settings if they're "borderline." He wrote a prescription for Concerta, said it was my decision whether or not to fill it, and he said to come back in a month.
I already have an open Child Protective Services case against my son's dad. I talked with the people at CPS about my resistance to the push for diagnosing him with ADHD. I was concerned that the school might accuse neglect if I didn't agree. CPS sympathized entirely with my position, said I was doing the right thing. I have a good relationship with them. So I don't fear "termination of my rights."

I resisted the initial ADHD evaluation by the school, but I was told that if I didn't sign the paper for the formal assessment that they would hold my son back a grade.

I do wonder if the threat to hold him back a grade might be used again at the next meeting. I'll probably fight it this time, because I've been told repeatedly that his academic progress is fine. He looks like he's not paying attention, but he hears everything the teacher says and learns it all.

Their concern was that he might fall behind later, so better to deal with it now before it becomes a problem.