Hows my poem? 8th grade! For school! HELP!?

[RyanL]

It's the end of schoolSummers hereNo more dramaTime for cheerNo more rulesNo more foolsDo's and don't are a thing of the pastAnother laied back summer sitting on my...Butt don't get comfy because it'll be over fastGetting used to home because of 4 dollar gasSummer 08' will be one for the books Between gas, love, and dirty looksSummer friends will come and goThey'll all pack up when it starts to snowSpring, summer, and then comes fallSummer seriously has it allGetting post cards from the Jersey shoreBy the end it's an unwinable warBut don't sweat it, because it will all soon endBlockbusters, Anthems, nothing can explainThe Mis adventures summer can bring...That's kinda it... :P, if you didn't notice I can't say @$$!

[kirstielovesyou]

Its good. Very cute.I just suggest running it through spell check first.

[hookemhornsfan1991]

Good poem, I am not trying to down on you, but not all poems have to rhyme.

[Acey]

That's good. I wish we could have poem writing assignments...

[rotee]

It's cute but for 8th grade, I'd expect more substance.

[MichaelN1236]

It begins well, but I don't care for how it ends."Layed" back might work better.The anti-war line doesn't seem to fit.

[laughing1380]

Um... for 8th grade? You may want to rethink that. Many teachers will find your message offensive with the butt part. Some teachers find butt crude.Put a little more spirit into your poem. I think you're going for the comedy thing, so maybe you want to talk about past experiences that have a sense of humor to them. Poems are normally personal. I think some more effort would make it better....