Self Harm, Self injury, Suicide...?

[Kayleigh L]

Ok... Just under a year ago i commited suicide (yeah and i'm here writing this) my mom found me, brought me to hospital, i died and was brought back to life.

Lately i've been cursing the doctors that did it like, they knew what had happened and yet they "saved me" were they just being plain evil or doing their job?

It's really really getting to me - and even more now when i'm writing this - i need to see someone but i find when i try to talk about things, i shut down and close myself off from everything.

Only family and my best friend knows, not even my boyfriend.
I self harm sometimes to feel relief when things get too hard.

Does anyone know how i can stop the sh? - i genuinely want to.
How i go about talking about things - which has so far been unsuccessful...
& How I get over the fact that i died...

I'm not looking for sympathy, i genuinely need this for my own good...
Thanks guys...
Guys i don't do it for attention...
it's the relief of anger that's been built up inside me. i can't describe it...
I've almost stopped a few times going from a few weeks to 3 months without harming.
i don't have it where the whole world can see it either. i don't show them to people...
Thanks greasechick818 & Raquel
.x.