Depression, Self Loathing, Self Injury?

[trinitylove]

I know, its a cheery topic. For the last year, I have been struggling with depression. But here is what is odd, and what I wonder if anyone else can help me make sense of: I feel more depressed while and directly after I am around family, friends, or peers. By the time we part, I feel like crying. I have burned myself a few times and am afraid of creating a permanent habit. It doesn't seem to matter who I am around, it always makes me feel un-empowered, ugly, and overlooked. It always seems like people expect me to be a certain way or they withdraw all respect or kindness. It's like my life is theirs rather than mine. But the only time they notice me is when I take a step towards the edge of the box they have built for me. And in comparison to them, I am worthless- I have a bad personality, I am not attractive, and I have nothing to offer. The worst part of it is, I am a Christian. I am struggling, but I truly want my life to belong to Christ.

[Faerifay]

You are their "dolly" your giving yourself up to their nit picking and insulting which makes them feel powerfull where they actually can't even controll their own life, it makes them feel good to think they are powerfull over you! Stand up and tell them to F off ! Tell them their ideas suck and that just because you are truthfull and are willing to ask for advise doesn't mean your ready to be abused! Do you want a pat on the head or a life? Jesus would say "shake the very dust of that place off your feet". Good luck!

[ask Melanie]

You know I felt the same way in high school. I look back now and most of the people that were mean to me are living horrible lives and they look nothing like they did in high school. I am still suffering from clinical depression where the chemicals are inbalanced in my brain and I have to take pills for the rest of my life, but it made my life worth living. I am ugly over weight and not many skills. But I now have a loving, attractive husband that loves me know matter what I look like. Trust me their are more out there. Just give life a shot what do you have to lose?

[Allison H]

I don't know you but I love you. Life sucks, I am sure we can all agree, at times, but just be strong and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Have you considered trying to speak with a consoler? It is not for everyone but it is worth a try. And do not think of your problems as a weakness in your devotion to christ. The good lord presents us with problems he knows we are capable of handling and the means and help to do so.
So, don't be too hard on yourself and talk to people. The lord helps those who help themselves.