Legal question on moving to a different state with your child. Father

[Brittney]

and I have never been to court.? The father of my child and I are NOT married. We have NOT been to court. I want to leave the state we both live in. IF I move to a different state, send him a letter letting him know that I have moved. Can my childs father still take me to court in the state I am leaving? When I move and send the letter out, I wasn't going to put a address on it, so he can't find me. If he can still go for joint custody even after I am out of state, and the court can't serve me, because I don't live here any more, can he get joint or full custody? I need advice.

[Dana A]

Does your child's father see his child? I think it is a mistake to do it this way. Your child's father should continue to be a part of his child's life unless he is clearly and completely unfit as a parent. Why are you moving?

If you are located in another state you can be served there with custody or visitation paperwork from your prior state because the state you left has an interest in the custody and well-being of the child, and that is where you lived with the child, and that is where the child's father lives.

Dana (attorney)

[cryssfriend]

Hm,.. Well Does the father WANT to be in the childs life? Is he a good father?
If not, and you have never been to court, he doesn;t ahve much interest in the child, I would say go! ...

[swimchix20]

The best thing you could do is get an attorney ready just in case anything was going to happen like that. Who has custody of the child, you or him? Are you doing an out of court custody, you and him have agreements on when to spend time with the child etc.? Get an attorney who can give you real legal advice and help you if you get into a sticky situation.

[sydney77]

Why would you want to do that? If the child's father isn't an a**hole then you aren't being fair. If he is an a**hole then you would have police reports etc so he wouldn't have a chance of getting custody anyway. Believe me if he isn't a bast*rd your child will resent you when s/he gets older for moving them away from their dad. Also how would you feel if the situation was reversed? Pretty damn awful I bet.

[Randall D]

yea... because you took HIS child out of the state without his knowledge... that's kidnapping and he would recieve 100% custody with no questions asked if you did that. You are however one of the parents and as such, you have the right to do so as you please with your child. If you tell you're baby daddy that you're taking him/her out of the state the father cant really do anything if there is no written custody agreements.

He can still however take you to court to hammer out a custody agreement, but it's less bad on you if you tell him before taking off.

[Someone.]

The fact that you're basically "fleeing" with your child will NOT look well in the eyes of the courts. Is there a reason you're leaving without the father knowing beforehand? Is he a bad influence on the child, an alcoholic or drug addict, abusive, etc?

If there is no reason for him to NOT be fit as a father, you should be very careful when basically taking your child away from him. He could sue and your leaving as such will not be good on your case.

[Juli]

Tricky situation. Does he pay child support? He has a right to see the child and build a meaningful relationship with the child. Right now there is nothing stopping you from moving such as a court order limiting the distance from the other parent. However, he can state that you moved for non-valid reasonings and open a child custody hearing and/or child abduction charges (Parental alienation) since nothing is in writing to prove either party has the primary custody of the child. Then it might be long and drawn out to prove who would be the best custodial parent involving a Family Psychological Study, A GAL (Guardian ad litem), Home Study and finally the court.

[Michael]

So you absolutely positively think that hiding the child from the father is the best thing to do? To me, that is kidnapping.

The father can file with the court in the state where he lives, which is the state where you are leaving, immediately after finding you have left. This state will hold jurisdiction, and can bring you back to face the courts.

If you have not yet been to court, I am going to presume you two have had a somewhat amicable relationship. You have to ask yourself, why the flight? Why are you being so selfish as to deny the child a relationship with the father? Even if you and the father are not getting along to well, why do you get to decide that that father never sees his child? All you mothers out there, we hear all the time how heart wrenching to be separated from your child. Is it any less heart wrenching for the father to have his child disappear? Is it any less heart wrenching to the child to suddenly lose a father?

Jurisdiction, if filed quickly enough, will be in the original state. Think about how many other individuals you will rend asunder with your single selfish act to take the child and run. If you need to move, maybe the dads wants to move too? Maybe the two of you can work something out so both of you can know your child. Kidnapping, and that is how dad will see it, is wrong, plain wrong.

[dastal]

even if you move he still has rights. if you don't give him your address you'll still need a job, and the courts will find you quickly, and you would need to go back to the state that the petitioner is living in. What would probably happen is the courts would be harsh on you for "running away", but you'll probably still get custody~ they like to keep kids with mama~ but he'll have visitation and that cost would have to be split by both of you. He would most likely get every other holiday and certain times in summer. It sucks, but they do that to make sure that fathers that want to be in their kids lives can be.