Indian girls parents are biased with strong views on marriage at an early age - why?

[trupti d]

I know many Indian girls who face the crisis of parents views on marriage being very strong. I know a friend whose parents, want her to get married straight after her degree in London. Why? my friend is very open minded and believes that she should have the choice to decide when to marry and build her life the way she sees it. The parents believe that a girl should be married as soon as possible. They think the ideal age to get married is 22-25. Are girls still a burden for families in the 21st century? And if so, why?

[lost in translation]

I am Indian and I have yet to go to a wedding where the bride was under 25. However, I am 23 and my more traditional uncles and aunts have been pressuring me about marriage since I was 20. In my case I feel like it is just a general concern that if I don't actively look for someone to potentially marry at an early age that I may end up well into my 30s and single. The Indian culture is heavily centered around the concept of family and therefore marriage is considered a very important step in any daughter's life. Also, the concern that I may not get married does not go without reason. I have several cousins in their 30s now (male and female) that cannot even find steady boyfriends or girlfriends. They are all desperate to get married and to start a family, but I think they all actively rebelled against the family's desire for them to at least date someone seriously with a chance to leading to marriage. Now they are all miserable.

I also agree that getting married when you don't feel like it is the right time is the wrong thing to do. I used to get annoyed whenever my uncle would tease me about marriage, but I still understand his POV and just humor him about it. Anyways, your friend seems really independent and the best thing I would suggest for her is to just not let her parents control her life.

Oh also, I do have a second cousin that was forced into an arranged marriage when she was 22 and she ended up divorcing him within a month of marriage. I'm not saying that arranged marriages are bad, but parents need to understand that in this day and age women are much more independent and can decide for themselves when to get married.