How do i save a violent marriage, but make sure he gets the counseling he...

[So confused]

...so deperately needs? My husband and I have been having problems that have gotten to the point of almost no return. He moved out about a week ago on a temperary basis until we could get in to see a marriage counselor, which we have our first appt next week. He is very controlling, and extremely hot tempered which he expresses in violent fits. The day he left he rammed the back of my vehicle with his 4 times and left me now with yet another disaster to try and clean up. I told him i want him to stay out of the house until we saw the counselor, the kids do not need to be around it. He agreed at first, until he decided he couldnt trust me to stay home over the weekend even tho i assured him i would not go out. He told me if I dont allow him to come home on friday, its over. I do not want him here until counseling and I didnt want to lose him either. He is so controlling it has to be his way or no way. If I let him back, he wont go to counseling and if i say no he's leaving for good. What do i do?