i'm divorcing my husband of 9 1/2 years. he asked me why...i answered, in short,

[ibiza99]

that the amount of healing i need in order to ever love him again is something i want to do alone. we trigger one another on a DAILY basis as far as fears, jealousies, past trespasses, etc. we both feel so much guilt towards one another, regret, & the desperate desire to try again. but everytime we do something errupts that spins us backwards. i just want out. we're signing papers mon. & i'm finding myself terrified, absoultely terrified i'm making a mistake. but moving ahead w/ it. the same way i felt on our wedding day. i'm pushing for the D, but he is willingly try, always he is. we have 3 kids. it's been hard & we've both been w/ mulitple partners in the past. i just can't get past what we both did w/out not having to look at his face & feel guilt for hurting him & the kids. but if i stay....i know i'll end up back in the mental hospital. does that make sense?
can anyone help me make sense of this...perhaps those who've been thru a divorce? our children have seen us fight, it's ridiculous
do you think we could ever work it out? weare both in indiidual counseling, as well as one of our children, with a second being seen soon. i just want life to be right. someday???? and be able to sleep at peace with my choices. and that seldom happens when i am with him.