Would this be a deal breaker in a marriage for you? (Husbands mainly)?

[Bleh B]

A divorced man marries into a blended family with another divorcee who has 2 kids. As the 2 children age, one of them becomes a huge problem - gets into drugs, steals, lies, etc. They overcome most of the issues there, but now druggie kid is 20 years old, has no job, doesn't go to school, gets drunk, brings strange people to the house, and stays at their house. Mom enables him and lets him get away with murder. Husband is pissed because rules are constantly broken and there is no unity between he and the wife as she always lets the son go back to his ways.

Wife is also a cold fish. She never gives affection or sex - and refuses to seek help for it. Just tells husband she's not in the mood, she's too old (she's mid 40s), and her overall attitude is "tough luck!" when it comes to sex.

They've been married for 10 years. Should husband get a divorce?
The wife refuses counseling for the sex issue.
Hound: I have nothing to do with this scenario, don't even go there.

[Hound]

Depends on him. I do how ever wonder where you fit in this?

[Anthony H]

Tough question, it all depends how much work the husband is willing to save their sex life. Being 40 isn't an excuse to not have sex, for there are people in their 50's and 60's who still have a healthy sex life.

Perhaps a marriage counselor would be appropriate enough for them, and if the wife doesn't want to do this, then the question is how does the wife TRULY feel about the marriage and her husband?Is she happy? Is he happy?

As for the kids, it's not too late to save your children, however discipline is definitely needed. But the kid is 20 years old, and is a legal adult, you could perhaps bring him to a family therapist, and have him talk one on one with this therapist. If the kid was under 18, I would've started early with family therapy and even consider a small session of boot camp. heh

Other then that, good luck and hope this helps.