Hard times?

[Satchmo]

My husband & i are going through a really difficult time at the moment - & it feels like it is pretty much over barr the paperwork!!I feel he has his business & hobbies & then theres my department (sex & the kids) which i have been pigeon holed into. I feel self concious all the time - because of him , constantly making references to me objectivley. he acts like he's dissapointed with me constantly & has no tolerance to anything i say unless it's sexual then it gets his attention. I have always had a healthy self image & now that's gone - if i ever say i don't like it he says he's not going to change it. If he bothered about my soul as he is my bra i would have the perfect marriage - when i say it makes me feel like a piece of meat - he says i am flattering myself ( i don't think i'm special - i just want to be more). You ever felt like it's all your good for? It is really making me feel worthless. The other night he spoke to me 10 times 8 of which were sex related. Help?Maha - i have tried that - he then makes out i'm old & fridgid - i'm 36!!No Fay i don't think he's cheated on me - i believe they treat you nicely through the guilt of an affair don't they?? lol...I've never had any sexual problems in my life apart from this - but other partners haven't put such a premise on it - so i've never felt mithered.We have been together for 8 years - 2 of my children are his - i was a very capable person before.Thank you so much ladies - i really feel like i'm not going mad!!!Its not like we are constantly having sex ( he wishes) it's just the only thing he seems to want to talk to me about or show any interest in - he makes no effort whatso ever to change anyhthing & i'm left thinking its my problem - when i've never had it before - i am just reacting to him!! i think you are all right i'll please me more!!!!

[VeryHappy8898]

Well hun, nobody can change who you are, but yourself. I have felt this way many of times, but then I realized, I am basically impressing myself, nobody else. You aren't worthless. You should never feel that way. ( Sometimes, It can be hard not do), but your not. Well, you both have a lot of non-sex talk to do. And make it clear to him that you want to have a serious talk, not of sex.

[Maha9824]

That's the nature of a man ...but try to convince him that there are other things that you need.

[starchild_kisschild]

No one deserves to be humiliated or feel less than a human being. You have only one life and if you cannot get beyond this than you need to without a doubt move on, even if you "love" him you deserve just as much of a good thing just like the next person. Don't wastes your life wondering why me. There are billions of people on this Earth you are not to spend your days with a person who makes you unhappy!!!!

[fayetie]

YES i have felt like that before me and my husband are trying to sort problems out too!I (can't prove it YET!) but think he is has cheated on me do you think your hubbie is the same?

[cruising74]

Tell your husband your true feelings. He's being insensitive. Tell him things have to change or you're gone. If you dont feel like sex, dont let him pressure you into it. Then do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. Go shopping, Get a new hairdo, whatever. Let him look after the kids for a change, and treat yourself. Give him time to miss you. You need to remember you're a worthwhile person too, not a sex object so stand up to him next time he behaves like a complete neanderthal jerk.

[katyr8146]

i no exactly what ure going threw n most men dont understand,that u need a break,or u will get a divorce,n most men at this stage r ready to go out n find someone else rather than work on there marriage,so the best u can do at this point n ure life,is do what makes u happy,if u dont want to hav sex with him tonight or any other night,dont,n if he keeps puting u down,,u really need to leave for awhile,n get ure life back,u r a person,not a sex machine,not his slave,,good luck,get out there n start living with or without him..lifes to short.

[MaryB1580]

You don't say how long you have been married, so It is hard to say weather he is going through something or this is just his personality. Now gather yourself up and remember who you are separate from him. You do not deserve this treatment no one does. Do whatever it takes to come to terms with the fact that you are not just a sex toy. You sound like you are a very smart women who just got into a bad situation. Do something that will give you the feeling of being valued, get a job or volunteer somewhere. Show him and yourself that you can be more than he thinks you can. Find pride in yourself, you say you take care of the kids that is something that not everyone can do. Think of how many times a day you have to improvise something to keep the kids happy or to fix something around the house. Remember that running the house is something that he could never do as good as you. Hold your head up when he is around and be too busy for him. IF you give yourself something other than this to think about you will start to feel better about things then you will have more control of your life. Good luck.

[IwannaBaby]

It's a very difficult situation to be in and I feel for you!You need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel, tell him he just needs to listen at first, not make any changes right away. If that won't work tell him you're going to make the necessary changes to get your self image back. And then you do what it takes, whether that means getting your own hobby or refusing him sex.If he loves you he will realize what it's doing to you and make an effort to change.Good luck!

[nas1080]

i am yet 2 figure out wat is actually going on in a man's mind..tits for sure they they are really bad communicators..if u try 2 talk 2 them or tell them about how u r feeling about a particular thing they just behave as if they r dumb..i think u just need some time off him..y dont u plan a visit to ur folks..i m not saying u fight and go just like that just to rejuvenate ur self..may b that vill b much better 4 u rather than thinking negatively all the time