I am a married woman of 30 years and my hubby is 33 years old .?

[DrishtiV]

I am a married woman of 30 years and my hubby is 33 years old . Last year we got married in court after 2 years of affair since his family was opposing . I’ve told my family about the marriage and they have accepted it but he has not told yet . I am in a very bad condition , don’t know what to do . Both of us are working but its always me who pays for everything . I’ve talked with him but of no use ,he always make it a point to tell me that he has gone against his family and married me and it’s a big sacrifice from his side . He thinks that I am not keeping him happy and keep asking about useless thing . I am feeling like he is using me , a kind of parasite he is for me . He always says I’ll do that or this thing for my family but he never share the responsibility of our hosehold . It seems to me that I am in abusive relationship from which I am not going to get anything . But since I love him , I could not think clearly what to do . Whenever I ask him about having kids , he refuses .

[sr_engr]

It sounds like he is using you.I dont understand what your question is, but I guarantee that what you are experiencing is not healthy, nor is it morally acceptable. The spouse is to be loved, honored, and held higher than all others.. including yourself. It seems you are doing that for hub, but he is just blackmailing you. He did not buy a slave by marrying you - you are not a slave.

[Pyar]

If he hasn't told his family after 2 years ,something is seriously wrong .. get to a marriage counselor ... you've described a marriage on its way to divorce. You don't want to have children with this man , til you are sure of this marriage.

[jesipy2469]

You are being used, time to leave.Making you feel bad about his family, you paying, no responsibiliy, and no talk about kids is because they are permanent and take money and work.Really, move on......

[LoopyLara7057]

Your situation shows us all how important it is to discuss the big issues such as having kids, and financial responsibilities before getting married.It seems to me that your husband is taking advantage of your love and emotionally blackmailing you into taking on more than your fair share of responsibilities. It isn't fair. I'm old fashioned and believe that when a couple enters into a marital arrangment, the man should do the providing. It was his choice to go against his family, not yours, so he has no right to keep throwing that in your face.Good luck!

[RobertG0210]

Hi how are you doing. This is a tough one since you did talk to him. Id talk to him some more to see if you can get anything out of him. Your right, you should not be the one who supports you household a 100% Besides that, what is he spending it on, does he owe many bills, is he saving it. But i do believe he should be honest with you and tell you why he can not. Kids is another story. I askd my wife right when i meet her if she wanted kids. That situation will need to be addressed if it means alot to you. Thats something you need to decided personnely on. If talking doesnt work. Its fair game. Do what you feel is right. Period!

[atxswildrose]

You are being used and you certainly do not need to bring kids into this pitiful excuse for a marriage.Get out now.

[mom_2scotty9332]

It sounds like he is a real jerk to you and I think you know in your heart how this relationship is going to work (or not) Let me tell you this from experience I forced the idea of having kids on my husband and now I regret having one with him I don't regret having my son just the father I chose for him. He didn't want a child from the beginning and he doesn't want him now It's the saddest thing to see. my son is 5 years old and sees other fathers doing things with their sons and wants to do the same things but his own father won't give him the time of day and that is the reason I'm getting divorced. Now I can give my son a real male role model. You really need to think about that.

[BettyM9026]

How on earth can you find it in your heart to love someone who treats you like this. You are his wife, he should be proud, not ashamed. What exactly do you think this man is giving you in the so called marriage that you can't do without? Is it sex, cause you can get that anywhere. He doesn't want his family to know you are his wife, he keeps all his money to himself and doesn't pay any bills, he doesn't do anything around the house and he refuses to give you any children.It doesn't sound to me like he has made any sacrifices.You are 30 years old and you want to have children. You are running out of time. This man has absolutely NOTHING to offer you, but a lot of heart ache. Don't wait to leave him, do it now, or some day you will be crying your eyes out, because you always wanted the joy of having children and now it's too late and you are too old to get pregnant.From what you have told us, you mean nothing more to your husband then a bed partner. I bet he's pretty selfish in the bedroom too.First thing you do, find his bank statements, which will tell you how much money he has deposited in his account each month that you have been married. If you can get your hands on his pay check stubs, then take them too. If he filed a separate tax return this year, grab that too. Take all this information to a friend's house to keep safe for you. Do not let your husband know you have taken these things.Now that you have all your evidence, you file for a divorce. Be prepared to prove in divorce court with your own bank statements that you paid all the bills with your income and he never paid any of the bills during your entire marriage. Then in your divorce settlement, claim you want half of the money he earned during the marriage. Now I don't usually advise people to get revenge, but after the way he treated you and refused to even tell his family that he was married to you, well....I think this jerk needs to be taught a little lesson in life. After you receive the legal papers showing that you have filed for a divorce against him, I would make a copy and also make a copy of your marriage license, then mail both of them to his family. Seriously! I WOULD do this!