Should I send my father a Father's Day card?

[Reality7146]

Each year I buy the card, but don't send it. He's 67 now; I'm 38.He and my mother had a lousy marriage, which came to a head in my early to mid teens. I'd get harried calls from my mother at school, and have to go home to straighten things out. My high school guidance counselor would just shake his head. My father was also an adulterer and rather lazy, not producing much of an income in many of the years he lived with us, but my mother hung with it for the sake of the kids, though I think it made her batty in the end.Eventually, they were divorced and I really lost touch with the old man out of solidarity with my mother. However, she died in 2000. Also, I left for college at 18 to a faraway town and never really looked back, so it was rather easy to lose touch.To be fair, for a good while, he was not a bad father as far as playing with the kids and such went. He nurtured some of my talents that served me well later. Is it worth reaching out at this point in time?

[Cham9963]

let past be past he is 68 could be the last one you send..and you would regret it..IM sure he does

[NitaR]

send him one. you don't have to write anything deep in it. just sign and send so he knews that you at least wish him a good day. you sound like a good person, so be a bigger person and just do it.

[momrfg20038207]

He's your father and respecting that is never pointless. Plus it's a good message to your kids.

[delicaterose713]

I think it's a good idea. He's probably waiting for you to seek him. He feels guilty and probably ashamed to even try to look for you for fear of rejection. "Honor thy mother and father!"

[nonameblonde6613]

Honey, it is ALWAYS worth reaching out to another human being. I commend you for being the better person. If you sent the card, you'll be sending it for you too...in order to close up and heal old wounds. He won't be around forever. I think it would be a wonderful gesture for you. And it would make him happy. And you can heal once and for all too. Good for you! This has been the best question I've answered yet today!

[Summer0083]

You know what? They shouldn't have involved you in the problems, they should have made the greatest effort to keep in touch, he should have been there for you all the time, especially when your mother died - I'm sorry - but that was in the past. He fulfilled his duty, no matter how short the time period that he did was, as a father and nurtured you, helped you become the talented human being that you are now...and that's a kind of love that can't have its back turned on.So yes, send him a card. A card that says "thank you" for what you've done, but also "you're my dad. I'm not saying it was the best time of my life, but I won't turn my back on the fact that you're a part of me." He IS your dad, after all, and perhaps the best thing is to acknowledge that in a simple, clean, uncomplicated manner. It's your best bet.He probably regrets it: all parents have regrets, no matter how tiny they are. Just one card, the reassurance that despite what you've been through, you've turned out well, and you still know that he's out there. You still know you can turn to him...even if you don't want to. So send him the card, I say. Good luck xxx

[Ricardo3892]

Sounds like your mother was a LOUSY mom. She involved you in her marital problems instead of encouraging you to have a relationship with your dad, however good or bad dad he was. A good mother would want her children to know their dad. you had a bad mother. I am glad she died. I think you should contact your dad and apologize for being so cruel and distant from him. He gave you life, his seed, and he tried hard. Dont be a jerk. Grow up and smell the coffee.

[WildestGirl]

Yes. My Daddy was a *serious* jerk. To go into it would require a blog of stupendous proportions. Jerk to my Mother, jerk to me and all my sibs. Treated me the worst of all. I had to either find a way to have a relationship with him on my terms or none at all. Being a family-minded person (and no doubt *still* wanting his love & approval), I decided to find some kind of peace and relationship but on my terms. It made him mad as hell sometimes but I'd just say "Bye Daddy" and either hang up or leave when he got to be too much. However, this left me in the best position when my Daddy committed suicide early last year. My Mother and brothers are still reeling. I still cry but know that at the end, I had accepted him for who he was, warts and all, and that he did love me even though he couldn't do it worth a sh*t.He will die. Don't live to regret what you didn't do. It never hurts you to be nice to someone else regardless of their sins against you and yours. I'm glad I did because I have no regrets. On the other hand, I have a brother who is damn near suicidal himself because he feels so bad about he treated Daddy at the end.Do it. And this time, send it.

[HomeAlone]

you only have one and i sure wish mine was here to send a card to