Marriage becomes and it takes work - you think?

[Oceanside]

Amazingly enough, I've been doing a lot of soul searching and reached one conclusion - I'm just an asshole. I've been married to my woman for a year and never really had any 'heart dropping' fall in love feelings for her, but I care and I guess it was enough to have a baby, buy a house and start a family together. Every now and then my feelings bite back at me and I try to push her away but I find more and more, it's not my emotions that need tending to. I have contemplated leaving her a few times, but now with a child, I don't want to have that separated image spawning a confused child. I recently went away on business and met probably the hottest woman I will ever meet. She's a partial celebrity, but that aside, I definately started questioning my life and feelings for my wife. Although I did not cheat on her, we did have some intense moments. And I realize it's not a question of wether or not I should stay with my wife, it's a question of morailty and honor. What do you think?
To say I used my wife is an assumption made without the details. But you're all right it was lust, at first. We spent a great deal of time together and let me tell you it wasn't the lust that kept us together. Her true personality may never be known to me if it's a faulty one so I am left with merely a storybook adventure, not a reality. Anyway, we went our separate ways and I'm left to contend with my descisions. But my child, my wife then myself have become my focus. The only problem is my feelings just aren't there. My desire is to develop them for the woman I married, not a pice of candy in a candy store.