How do most divorced parents decide custody?

[KamiGirl]

My divorce has been final for almost a year. We've decided to share custody with our boys (5&8) alternating between each household on a weekly basis. (One week, Friday-Friday, with me and the next with their father.) Their father has recently stated that he thinks that it would be best (and more stable) for the boys so be in a single household on a permanent basis with visitation allowed for the other parent. I, on the other hand, think that we should each have equal opportunity to spend time with and raise our boys as we are both equally important in their lives. (FYI, He didn't say who should have custody and who should have visitation.)

I don't know very many people in my situation, so I come here to pose my questions . . . Is this a normal arrangement of custody? 50/50, alternating each week between parents. Or, do most people have one parent with sole custody and the other with visitation? What's better for the children? Any experience-based advice is appreciated!

Thanks!

[?j-LyNn?]

Usually if the children are school-aged, they stay at one house all week and visit the other on the weekend or every other weekend. The child needs a permanent address for the school and you might be in two different districts. During the summer, the arrangements are usually one week with each parent.

You and your ex need to decide what's best for the children. 50/50 seems ideal but it also depends on how far apart you and your ex live. Why don't you both discuss it with your children and see what their input is. If you decide to have the kids live with you most of the time, it doesn't mean your ex can''t pick the kids up after school and take them out to eat, to the mall, movies or whatever inbetween his visitations (or your visitations, depending on how you agree).

[Lisa]

50/50 custody is the best custody agreement there is. The parents get equal time with the kids and the kids get equal time with each parent. I think unless a problem comes up where you 2 can no longer agree, you should keep doing the 50/50 split.