my first marriage, husband's second...stepchild issues?

[Cindy L]

My husband and I got married about a year ago. He was previously married (my first) and has an 11 year old son. He is constantly putting him first, and treats me like another child. Examples: we had to take turns sitting in front because his son "had been doing this for 10 years". His son often sleeps in our room when we are away, when he could have a room to himself. I know some of this is normal, but I think some is not...it's like they're best friends, and there reallly isn't the parent/child boundary. My husband doesn't see any of this as strange, and gets very defensive.
We also have a child together, and I already see evidence of my husband putting his firstborn, first...again, I'm I'd do some of that if the shoes were reversed. It is difficult because I had been putting my husband first, only to see him making more of an effort to do special things for his son, taking him out more, etc. What's the best way to approach my husband? Am I being unreasonable?