Drug addiction & trust issues in a marriage?

[Luna]

My fiance has been clean for 6 yrs, goes to meetings regularly, councils other men to help them kick the habit as well. He's very dedicated to the program, if a guy is having a hard time, he invites them over & reads the books w/ them, talks to them on the phone, etc. BUT, he relapsed himself recently. He suffered a loss (a death) and he turned to heroin. He didn't tell me, I found out because he passed out & I had to look at his phone to see what he had done. There were texts btwn him & another girl that has relapsed, she got the drugs for him. We talked, he explained everything and then he did it AGAIN. I found needles, spoon, etc. number for some guy named "Frank". Anyway, we talked about it, he decided to go through a methadone detox & it was successful. He hasn't used since & all is fine now. But, I feel like I can't trust him anymore & I'm so sad because he is SUCH a special man. Every time he leaves now, I wonder. That's not right. How do you get past this?
How am I an enabler? I confronted him & wouldn't let up. I didn't pretend it wasn't there & moved merrily along.
Roxy . . . I did. I destroyed everything & I deleted the phone numbers.
I know. Heroin is worse than pot, etc. I think some of you are getting the wrong impression. I don't live with a guy that's constantly wasted. I live with a guy who goes to meetings, who helps others, who is the kindest person I know. He freakin' relapsed. He put HIMSELF in detox. I'm trying to ask about how to deal with trust issues, not for people to tell me that my fiance is an @sshole. Where's the human kindness? You have no idea how many people owe their life to him. It's very sad.

[Heaven Lee]

That's really sad. Instead of leaving him you should get him into rehab. If you were to leave he would turn into a full blown addict and who knows what would happen to him.

[tina]

You are an enabler and you need to seek out a group that teaches you about it.

[Roxy P J]

One day at a time girlfriend! You got to be there for him if your not then he will relapse.You got to trust him you got to be the strong one! Yes I know being strong for both is hard! And get rid of that number and all contacts! Tell him that you trust him to be good if not then back in rehab! Best Of Luck!

[iyamacog]

LIke any addiction, it's lifetime. Good Lord, he's surrounded by it. In my opinion, he doesnt stand a chance. He may be doing much good for others. But there's no way he will be able to remain clean, unless he removes himself from the surroundings
That's like surrounding yourself with something you have no resistance to. Get real.........Just my own logical opinion. ......

[hushnowjustplayit]

Drug addiction and trust are two words that go together like blizzard conditions and Hawaii. It doesn't make sense.

If you know anything about drug addiction, then you know that you are part of his problem. You are called an enabler. Use the Yellow Pages and find out about programs for people who are with drug addicts. It will be an eye opener for you.

[Oceanside]

I don't even that much about drugs, but I do know there is a lot more going on here that what my eyes can tell me. Do some research of your own and good luck!

[T-baby]

you have to face the fact you are dealing with an addict and everytime he is faced with a problem is he going to turn to drugs, this will affect you tremendously so i would consider moving on, life is to short to be miserable, he is fighting some type of demon that he is not ready to face quite yet, because if i was clean for seven years i wouldn't go back to drugs, no way!