how can i fix my marriage....please help?

[the*cellphone*chik]

First off before my husband, I only had one boyfriend, my first love, my first everything, well I was with him for 5 years and he ended up cheating on me left and right. So now I have trust issues, not to mention, this guy (my ex) when i dumped him and started dating my husband, kidnapped me at gun point, so my trust is gone. I always think my husband is lying to me, i don't know why, i don't really have any reason to think this way, a couple of times i have caught him looking at porn, and to me this is a big issue, i don't find it fun to catch my husband masturbating and looking at porn at the same time, i've confronted him bout it but he just finds a new way to be sneaky about it, he says it has nothing to do with me, that it's just something he does. Well this has messed up my trust on him a little more, i've been trying to work on it, but the arguments just arise on random and stupid stuff. I know he loves me, but we argue too much.What do I do, i don't want to endup in a divorce
i am also very jealous, sometimes he gives me reasons to be, but most of the time it's just me, don't get me wrong, we are happy too but we argue 2 or 3 times out of the week, a couple of days ago he was determined to leave and there was nothing that could change his mind, finally he decided to stay, that is why i'm asking for ya'lls help, i don't want to lose him, he's good to me and i'm good to him too, i am a very dedicated wife and mom. I guess if there is any advice in controlling jealousy. I guess one of the reasons why there is really no trust is the porn, and most of his friends are married and having affairs on the side or single and just playing the field.

[free_angel]

Sneak up on him and knock him upside the head and tell him that's just something that you do.

[Tamiri]

You need counseling. Until you come to terms with traumatic events in your life, you're not going to let go of them.

[sweetie]

porn and masturbation......this is no reason to be upset with ur husband.

i would rather my husband play with himself than him playing with another woman...understand??

i think u need counseling or need to speak to your pastor because you have some issues to work on and it doesnt have a thing to do with your husband

good luck and stay in prayer

[Bilinda G]

You need to go to counseling and talk about your trust issues. For men to watch porn and masturbate is really common. This should not affect you like it is. That is the only way to deal with your past is to talk with someone who can help you through it.

[tom_gpp]

You need to get into counseling and quit bringing your past issues into your relationship.

[MAYLONAV]

Well i mean i have seen that a lot relationships break up for no good reason at all is mostly oh we argued too much, we didnt agreed this and that is all stupid stuff, dont become a statistic cause you can't control yourself, you can change just be determined not everything we feel as to be expressed to our partner like jeolousy, it makes you seem very insecure so try and maybe just talk about it with a close friend or write about it, a lot of poeple live their lifes control by something in their past like trust or revenge or trauma, i know is hard when bad things happen but you cant let your past rule the rest of your life, you learned you try and be more carefull but thats it you move on and you give people the same chances one person doesn't have to pay for another's mistake if you say your husband is good to you and he cares for you and you for him don't let that go cuase you cant control yourself is really sad, other than that try to be more understanding men are very different from woman they get tired of being accused of doing things like cheating when they arent doing it so you might push him to actually do it, just communicate with him and trust him as much as you can also about the porn is true most guys are into it but hey maybe if you step up to doing more things for him he might not need it just cause you are married and you have him doesnt mean is over you still need to keep the flame alive try and dress up all the time do your hair, have sex as much as you can and he wont need to look for anyone else trust me, good luck

[Lucky 711]

Well...I just don't know where to begin. My only question I have before I am able to answer is does your trailer park really allow porn? My park doesn't and it's a real hassle.