Can a Muslim man whose parents are arranging his marriage get off of this

[yulissa_girl]

compromise? cancel it? I am a 24 years old female and my boyfriend is Muslim, he is from Pakistan. His parents are arranging for him to marry his cousin. He says he loves me and he shows me everyday. But he says he could never marry me. He never explains to me why with details, he just says he can't. I believe it’s because of his religion and his customs. But i just can't understand why. If he really loves me, why should he marry someone who he doesn't love? I don't know a lot about Muslim cultures, but I keep trying to learn more everyday. When I ask him about it, he just say he doesn't know a lot about his religion, that he was just born into it. I just would like to know a little bit more about it and know if he has to marry his cousin or if he could cancel this arrangement if he wanted to. Thanks for your answers.

[JustMyOpinion]

Yes he can say no. It is silly if he marry's someone else that he doesn't love. But he may not want to dissappoint his parents or the other family if this arrangement was made a long time ago. If he has the strength he can back out.

[lovely lili]

that's what he was born into. It's hard but thats life. I'm muslim myself and it not only about marrying someone with the same religion but it's also about marrying our own kind. if not then we are completely disowned from all family and relatives until they except it (that's if they ever do). Did you ever speak to him about marriage? would you convert for him? talk to him about it. If he just keeps saying that he can't then your just wasting eachothers time. Good luck with everything!

[averagejoe]

I am a brit pakistani. He must be realy tied to his family. He could say no if he wanted he would just have to stand his ground and risk upsetting his parents and cousins etc and depending on the kind of asians they are, they might take it badly and some they even stop talking to each other for years and it causes big fights. All because they want x to marry y, even without love. Personally I couldn't and my parents know this, I've had offers from relatives and non relatives, I just turn them down. I got my girl and I will marry her regardless inshaAllah. He either needs major persuasion and then his family will need major persuasion and be understanding be able to compromise. Traditional pakistanis, tough nuts to crack. Religion got nothing to do with it, its just customs, another muslim can marry another muslim white blue green black its whats in the heart that matters. On that note, my cousin married his long time white girlfriend of ten years and she stayed a christian, they had an asian wedding and a white wedding, and she is like another daughter in my family. So it depends on his family, how traditionaly strict they are. Good luck, feel free to ask whatever.

[Picasso]

He meant it when he said he can't marry you. He will follow his parent's wishes.

Move on and find someone who has similar beliefs to yours because his religion requires that his partner also be Muslim, and that's nothing to convert into lightly, a lot goes into it, and it should not be done blindly.

You should follow your own path because he is trying to tell you what you need to do and you need to listen to him. He can't marry you.