Is marriage a "trap"...or maybe an institution with few attractive

[John S.]

alternatives for getting out? I never wanted to get a divorce starting out. Who getting married does so, believing a divorce is likely in the future? But after 10 years, it happened. And in looking at all the divorce statistics, divorce seems more like the norm than the exception. I become so encouraged when I see couples celebrating 30, 40, and 50 year anniversaries -- and when they are still happy together, which is even more rare. People joke about being tied to their "ball and chain". That's such a sad comparison. But as I contemplate marriage in the future, I recall the feeling of dispair I had several years into marriage knowing that this is how it was going to be for the rest of my life...that happiness was no longer possible and that the alternative (i.e. a ruinous and tragic divorce) was not attractive in the least. So I wasted even more time, avoiding the inevitable. And yeah, divorce sucked and hurt like Hell!

Not every marriage is the same, thank God. But overall, is it really a big trap?
For perspective, I'm the "hang in there" kind of person, not looking to give up quickly or to change spouses (the way some do) the way I change underwear. In my case, I was deceived and she admitted it freely for years, i.e., she married me for money, not love (which was her big lie) but if I ever tried to divorce her, she'd make my life a living hell. We have kids so preserving the family was my motivation, despite the loss of my own personal happiness in a [rimary relationship but outside of the tremendous love I felt for my children.