What is the secret to your happy marriage or relationship?

[Cate]

There are many things that make a GREAT intimate relationship. Here are 10 of ours (no particular order):
1. Romance & Affection. This includes but is not limited to sensational sex. We still dance in the kitchen while making dinner, cuddle while watching TV and hold hands when we walk the dog. We take romantic vacations, go out for dinner and sip wine and talk on the patio in summer and by the fireplace in winter.
2. Honesty and 100% Trust. We talk openly and honestly about anything and everything - no secrets, no off-limits topics and no using each others' honesty against them. We trust each other implicitly - no lies, no suspicion, no questions.
3. Mutual respect. We have NEVER called each other names, ridiculed - not even in the worst of times. We treat each other with loving respect.
4. Shared dreams and goals. We have worked shoulder-to-shoulder to achieve career, financial and other goals. We talk about our dreams for the future and make them come true together. We always have a "fire in the belly" and we keep it burning for each other. If I get discouraged or down, he lights the fire in my belly again and I do the same for him.
5. Saying "I love you"...and saying why, how much and for how long - forever! I call him "the love of my life" and he gets misty eyed every single time. He calls me "the lady of his dreams" and I feel beautiful, desirable, special. We are still "in" love with each other.
6. Fitness & Appearance. We are both active, work out and eat healthy. We put a high value on looking our best for each other and still feel very physically attracted to each other.
7. Faithfulness. Neither of us has ever cheated on the other - not even close. When we give our word, we keep our word. We have a very strong sense of family and it is impossible to even think of betraying each other or our kids.
8. Accountability. We are both able to own our share of mistakes and contribution to problems. We have stopped playing the "blame game" and trying to change each other and it has made us happier and stronger as individuals and as a couple.
9. Individuality. It took some work and struggle but we have learned to respect each other's individuality. One of the best things is that we don't assume we know each other - we still find out things we didn't know and it keeps us from being stale and complacent.
10. Lifelong Learning. We enjoy learning new things and it keeps us stimulated and exciting - keeps us in the joy of discovery. We grow as individuals and as we do, we pull each other to grow, teach each other, improve ourselves, our relationship and our life. We are always having great conversations, making friends and having fun!

People say marriage is a lot of work but it really isn't. If people are stuck in power struggles, blaming, being a victim, feeling confined, etc. marriage is their horror story. It doesn't have to be.

If it is a labor of love for both partners, it is a pleasure. There is nothing more beautiful than the privilege of sharing someone's life and no greater joy than having someone who is willing to put his heart and soul into sharing yours.

This is the real "secret" - knowing that whatever kind of marriage you create is your creation.

[Gem]

What do you think makes your relationship as great as it is? Any specific secrets?

[LadyRed4u727]

To be perfectly honest...God and an awesome line of communication
We talk about EVERYTHING lol
o yea and we are also very playful with one another
and we make it a point to make a date at least once a week

[mish3131]

We talk about just about everything. From what we like sexually to what is our favorite food. We do have fights and issues, but once again after all is said and done we apologize and talk about it.

We never threaten divorce. This is not a light subject and I don't think it should be used as leverage. We do say something if we say a hot chick or sexy guy.

We communicate.

[ChristiNa]

We Have the most intense love for one another and the biggest arguments... keep spice in the relationship so that you always come back wanting more and dont want anyone else

[woohoo]

we have respect for one another and good patience.

[shellybelly0]

Love, respect and communication.

You need to be able to talk about anything. Have fun, do things for each other.

Keep dating even after you have been married for years.

Back rubs are awesome too...

[Stuck in Scrubs]

We laugh - a lot. We love at ourselves, we laugh at each other and we laugh with each other. Laughter is it for us. We get each other.

[heidinichole]

Forgive him and forgive yourself for all the mistakes you each make. Neither person are perfect. When mistakes big or small are made you must forgive and not hold a grudge. Also, you must allow the other person to be who they are and not try to change them. So Acceptance and Forgiveness.

[Alegria]

I don't think there are any secrets. Just common sense. I love, respect, cherish, and appreciate my husband. I make him a priority. I am honest with him and have lots of sex with him! He likes that! There is no secret, just do what is in your heart!