Explaining mental health issues to friends?

[Sunset]

I've been dealing with self-harm for just under a year now. I've been seeing a counselor at my college, but haven't been diagnosed with anything specific. The major problem is various sources of stress in my life, almost all of which are outside my control. I'm dealing with a very toxic family situation as well as recovering from a borderline abusive dating relationship.

I've been trying to explain to friends that I'm not doing well, but I don't want to tell them about my self-harm or go into details about my life. The problem is I can't seem to communicate that I'm dealing with more than basic stress. I tend to get the responses of "you're stressed, so is everyone else, that's college," "all teenagers have problems with parents," and "yeah, bad relationships happen." And that's not how it is. I need some help from my friends, but I'm not sure how to communicate. And I'm scared to tell to many details because I don't want to be known as "that crazy girl."
Please, no "you need help" or "why don't you just quit" answers.
Just to clarify - I am working with a counselor. One of the things both of us recognize would be better for me is to have more support from friends. I'm not looking for answers on self-harm here, not because I'm not working on it, but because I think my counselor can provide better advice. The primary question is how to approach friends and say "I'm not feeling well and I need someone to sit with me right now" without telling my life story.

[KeylaDragon]

You have to make a decision what is more important to you, and what is best for you. You might even wish to discuss making this disclosure with the counselor, and get their advice.

Is it more important to you, and effective for you, to have the support of positive family members and friends, than it is to maintain your privacy? Are you emotionally and mentally strong enough to deal with the negative aspects of disclosure? Can you discipline yourself as to what you say? You could say you are seeing a counselor because of the stresses, and you need mental and emotional support; without saying that it provokes you to hurt yourself. You would need to hold the line on how much you say, if you are not going to make full disclosure. You could also reveal what is needed, and as much is needed on a person by person basis, making as sure as you can, that whatever you say, and as much as you say will be held in confidence.

There is always risk in disclosing mental and emotional health issues. You can’t control how people will react. They may reject you. They may as you say label you. They may be there for you, without any of the other stuff. Mental and emotional health issues still have a stigma in our culture. This is true even in the present society where drugs for depression are advertised on TV.

I am a member of a family where sexual and physical child abuse are generational curses, into the 5th generation now. One of the many reasons that it has gone on for so long is secrecy. It was revealed and opened up to scrutiny only in the 3rd generation. Secrecy allowed the same predator to attack two generations of family’s children in relative safety.

My two breakdowns were very, very public. I had to be hospitalized twice. The only things private about my breakdowns were the suicide attempts that began when I was 13. None of it came to light until I was 22, and I just went screaming mad (literally and figuratively) from the mental and emotional stresses of my life. This was more than 30 years ago, and I am still known to many as “that crazy”. I have long since embraced and accepted the truths of my pasts, and not the labels.

I sometime do think what would have happened tome and with me, if I had not kept the secrets. The secret of my molestation. The secret of the emotional and mental pain and anguish I suffered for years and years. I do know that my body, mind, and life would be different than they currently are. I can see that they could have been different in the positive. I can also see that it could have been more negative than it was.

I am blessed to have lived to tell. I am still here. I am free. I hope this is helpful to you.

[warrior ang gi guong]

The problem is that you are magnifying your belief that your stress is worse than the other millions of people in your age group.You are suffering from what sober alcoholics call "terminal uniqueness", and will suffer as long as you believe you are worse than others.The cure for this is to get over yourself and realize that most people have problems of one sort or another.But have hope that you can become less self-centered.It just takes some effort.i have been involved in mental health for many years and the overwhelming reason people suffer is because they CHOOSE to.Very few are actually suffering from a brain-chemistry imbalance.

[turkishdlite]

Well I am pretty sure if your so called friends are "good friends", they would definetly understand and not want to go into every bit of details with you, just outta respect. I have been going through a tough time with mental health and I told my friend why I wasnt answering her phone calls and why i havnet been in school and she said dont worry im not going to judge you in anyway and i told her this is just a bump in the road and im getting help, so i just wanted to let you know whatsup and i would really appreciate it if you could just hangout with me whenever i need someone to just chill or talk to. She understood and all of it went fine. Before i told her i thought she was going to be like "woah thats crazy" or something like that but the whole time she was just looking at me like "its okay its gonna be fine". If your friends arent like that then go fine some real friends. If there is no one else you can talk to you, you always have your family beside you whenever you need them.